Saturday, August 14, 2021

It Is Our Differences As Human Beings Which Cause Conflict

Luke 10:38-42, “Now it came to pass, as they went, that he entered into a certain village: and a certain woman named Martha received him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus' feet, and heard his word. But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me. And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.

I was thinking today about the times in my life when people hurt my feelings, unintentionally, simply because they thought differently than I did. So many times we get our feelings hurt because we expect other people to respond to a situation the same way that we would. I have learned painfully in my life that people usually don't think or respond the way I do, and that has oftentimes caused pain, missed opportunities and misunderstandings. So I have learned to just let people be people, and not to expect anything of them. I try to focus completely on Jesus Christ. Hebrews 12:2, “Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

I was trying to think today of an example in the Bible of someone who got their feelings hurt, because they sincerely thought differently than someone else. I remembered Martha, who is one of my favorite saints in the Bible. I like Martha because I can relate to her. ...

Luke 10:38-42, “Now it came to pass, as they went, that he entered into a certain village: and a certain woman named Martha received him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus' feet, and heard his word. But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me. And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.”

Martha saw Jesus coming toward her home and gladly welcomed the Lord into her home. Martha was so happy. She went immediately into the kitchen, no doubt busily preparing a meal for the Savior, waiting hand and foot upon her guests. But Martha became frustrated, seeing that she was doing all the work, while her younger sister Mary was sitting at Jesus' feet eager to hear His words. Like me, Martha was very sincere. As she was serving her guests alone, she began to wonder why Jesus was okay with her doing all the work, while her sister Mary did nothing. Martha began to think that Jesus didn't care. 

Carefully notice what Martha said to Jesus in Luke 10:40b, “Lord, dost thou not care”? Have you ever said that to God? I admit that I have. I have oftentimes in my frustration asked God if He really cares about me, because I sincerely didn't feel like He cared. It is because we sincerely THINK DIFFERENTLY as human beings that we often have conflicts with one another, get our feelings hurt, and sometimes become frustrated and even angry with each other. One of the important lessons to learn in life is to let people be people, and not to expect other people to think as we do, because they never will.

My former wife divorced me in 2006. She has never really apologized to me. For many years I held that against her, because I felt that she wasn't truly sorry for the pain, loss and suffering that she has caused me. But God opened my eyes in recent years to show me that she doesn't think the way I do. I am a completely different type of person than she is. I am deeply passionate, a deep thinker and an emotional man; but she is not like me at all. She is not a bad person, she just doesn't have the deep feelings that I do, so she cannot reciprocate the depth of feelings that I have for anything. By understanding this truth and letting her be herself, we are able to be friends, because she is the mother of our four children.

I have attempted many times in my life to become close friends with pastors. I sincerely contact them with a letter, but they either don't respond or don't want to be friends with me. I poured my heart out to a pastor in Chicago over 30 years ago, expressing a difficult time I was having at the time, sharing some of my burdens with him, and my desire to be his friend. In hindsight, I was a young man having an emotional crisis in my life, and I needed a mentor. This pastor was old enough to be my father. To my dismay and sorrow of heart he never even bothered to write back. 

I found out about a year later, as I expressed my grief one day to my former wife, that she had contacted him without me knowing, because she knew the pain I was enduring at that time in my life. She asked the older pastor why he refused to reply to my letter. His response was: “I don't even contact my own church members, so why would I contact your husband.” My wife comforted my heart and told me that the older pastor was cold-hearted and had a problem. She was absolutely right. 

So you see, I speak from personal experience. I never would have written to him unless I had sincerely thought that he would respond, but he didn't. So now when I do anything I am not surprised when people don't respond the way I think they should. I admit that God is still working on this area of my life. I still get caught off guard sometimes, wondering why people don't respond the way that I think they should. Like Martha, I sometimes wonder why people don't behave the way I think they should. Dear friend, I encourage you to LOOK TO JESUS, THE AUTHOR AND FINISHER OF OUR FAITH, and take your eyes off of people, because people will ALWAYS let you down and disappoint you.

I thought about another example of someone in the Bible getting their feelings hurt. Jesus Himself became emotionally hurt, bringing Him to tears...

John 11:25-35, “Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die. Believest thou this? She saith unto him, Yea, Lord: I believe that thou art the Christ, the Son of God, which should come into the world. And when she had so said, she went her way, and called Mary her sister secretly, saying, The Master is come, and calleth for thee. As soon as she heard that, she arose quickly, and came unto him. Now Jesus was not yet come into the town, but was in that place where Martha met him. The Jews then which were with her in the house, and comforted her, when they saw Mary, that she rose up hastily and went out, followed her, saying, She goeth unto the grave to weep there. Then when Mary was come where Jesus was, and saw him, she fell down at his feet, saying unto him, Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died. When Jesus therefore saw her weeping, and the Jews also weeping which came with her, he groaned in the spirit, and was troubled, And said, Where have ye laid him? They said unto him, Lord, come and see. Jesus wept.

Jesus wept because these people thought very differently than He did. They doubted Him. The Lord had sincerely told Martha to go tell her sister Mary to come to Him. But in turn, Jesus got His feelings hurt and cried. Have you ever had that happen friend, where you were glad to see someone, but then they made you cry? I have had that happen. Jesus was happy to see Mary again, but she doubted Him, as did the people, bringing Him to tears.

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