The Best Way To Honor Your Parents

Exodus 20:12, “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.”

This is the fifth of God's Ten Commandments for humanity. In our text passage of Scripture the Lord's commandment says:

“Honour thy father and thy mother...”

The Hebrew word translated “honour” is kabbed, from the root kaved, which literally means “to be heavy” or “to give weight to.” In the Hebrew language, something that is "weighty" is important, valuable, significant and worthy of one's respect. The opposite would be something that is light, trivial or insignificant.

So, when God commands children to “honor” our parents, He is saying:

• Give them proper importance.
• Treat them as valuable and worthy of respect.
• Do not regard them lightly or dismissively.
• Recognize the authority and position God has given them.

Practical Meaning Of Honoring One's Parents

Honoring parents includes:

• Respecting them in speech and behavior.
• Obeying them while under their authority (Ephesians 6:1).
• Caring for them when they are older and in need.
• Not shaming or disgracing them.

This is why in Mark 7:9–13, Jesus condemns people who use religious excuses to avoid supporting their parents. Jesus taught that honoring our parents involves more than polite words—it includes practical care. We are woefully guilty in the United States of not taking care of our elderly parents. For the longest time now, thousands of elderly people have had to travel to Mexico and Canada to purchase affordable medications, which is utterly shameful. We do not honour our elderly in the United States!

A Helpful Illustration Of The Meaning Of “Honour”

If someone says, “Your opinion carries a lot of weight with me,” they mean, “I highly value what you say.” That is very close to the Hebrew idea behind kabbed. To honor your father and mother is to give their position and counsel weight in your life. Sadly, to many Americans their parents have become a heavy burden for them to carry, so they don't. I like the popular 1969 hit song by The Hollies titled: “He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother.” One's own parents ought never be viewed as a burden, when they sacrificed for us, cared for us and raised us.

So, a good expanded translation of Exodus 20:12 might be:

"Give due weight, respect, value, and reverence to your father and your mother."

Granted, this doesn't mean that parents are infallible, or that a child at any age must obey sinful or illegal commands. Rather, it means that parents are to be treated as being valuable, and they should never be treated as insignificant or contemptible.

I have received thousands of ministry emails over the years since by God's grace I started my website ministry in 2002, some from frustrated adult children of difficult parents who are not saved. My best advice to people in such situations is to just love the hell out of them!

The Best Way To Honor Your Parents

That all being said, I humbly believe the greatest way to honor our parents is to live a meaningful, moral and productive life. I think the greatest way that I can honor my Mom and Dad is to live an impactful life for the Lord Jesus Christ, leading as many lost sinners to Jesus Christ as possible. I love what Pastor Jack Hyles said: “The measure of my success in life won't be how many people show up to say goodbye at my funeral, but how many people are waiting to greet me when I get to Heaven.”

I have to admit that I was disappointed after watching the 1998 blockbuster film Saving Private Ryan, which book and movie is FICTIONAL. That surprised me! Nearly everybody thinks the movie is based on a real event, but there never was any mission to rescue a soldier because his brothers were killed before him. It's a great story, but it never happened!

But that's not why I was disappointed. At the end of the movie they show James Francis Ryan (the rescued private) as an old man. He breaks down in tears while standing at the graves of the men who died for him, and asks his wife if he is a "good man," and she confirms that he is. As far as the movie indicates, James Ryan never accomplished anything in life more than to feed his mouth three times a day, and to raise a family. Although there's nothing wrong with that per se, I would hate to look back at the end of my life, with nothing more to show for it than having existed. I thank God for my website ministry, which God has used (and is still using) to make an impact for Jesus Christ in this world.

Is there not a cause? That is what the shepherd boy David said while going out to fight the Philistine 9' 6" giant Goliath. David's older brothers mocked him, to which mockery he replied in 1st Samuel 17:29, “And David said, What have I now done? Is there not a cause?” Dear reader, the best way you can honor your Mom and Dad is to give your life to serve Jesus Christ as a believer. And if you've never been born again, please do so now while you still can. It is so simple, free and easy to be saved. You simply need to believe that Jesus did it all for you.

If you are not 100% sure that your name is written in Heaven (Luke 10:20), then right now dear friend come to God as a guilty sinner by faith (taking God at His written Word), accepting Christ's sacrifice on the cross as full payment for your sins, believing that He was buried, but ressurected from the dead three days later. This is "the Gospel" (Good News), by which all who BELIEVE IT are saved instantly, irrevocably and permanently (Romans 1:16; 1st Corinthians 15:1-6). Simply believe that Jesus did it all for you.

To God be the glory. Thank you for reading my ministry blog.