Ephesians 5:25-27. “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.”
The inspired King James Bible doesn't teach to only love your wife when she is obedient, attractive and sweet. A husband is commanded by God to love his wife unconditionally at all times, regardless of what she does, even so as Christ loves His imperfect Church.
When after 19 years of marriage my wife cruelly abandoned and wickedly divorced me in 2006, she didn't talk to me for the next eight years, and I didn't know where she lived or how to contact her. In 2014, she heard about the local Baptist church that I was attending and came to visit me. We became distant friends at best, but I started helping her financially because I cared. Legally I didn't have to give her a penny and I owed her nothing. But because I love God, I allowed the LORD to love her through me. Over the next decade I voluntarily give her tens of thousands of dollars to help her, buying whatever she needed and asked for.
By God's grace alone, I have been a best friend toward her over the years; whereas in exchange she has often told me off; sassing me with disrespect, giving me a hard time, blaming me, making me cry, criticizing and doing absolutely nothing for me in return. But that is for her to give account to God for, I did the right thing to “Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good” (Romans 12:19). I have never claimed to be a good Christian. I always feel like the biggest sinner that I know. And you should feel the same way if you walk closely with the LORD (Luke 5:8). We are all horrible sinners, wicked and wretched in the sight of our holy and faithful Creator.
During all the decades of being divorced from each other, we never got any closer than shaking hands one time in 2014. Yet, I treated her with respect and love as the mother of our four biological children (now all in their thirties). I have always returned good for her evil (Romans 12:19-21). Although it is true that we cannot control what other people do, we can control how we behave. I don't love my former spouse because of who she is, but because of who I am.
I am not boasting, I am simply giving the only real life example I have of loving one's wife (before and after a divorce). I know people who maliciously hate their former spouse and want them dead. I simply cannot live that way and don't understand such kind of hatred. Life is too short to live with a burden of hatred. As I grow older, I choose to get better, not bitter!
Pastor Jack Hyles taught me these great Bible truths:
“If you have one person in this world, one, in or out of your family, who really cares for you; and will care for you when you mistreat them, and will care for you when you cannot give them a thing; if you have one person who cares for you with Bible care, you're above average.” —Pastor Jack Hyles, “Who Cares Anyway?”
“If you really care about one person, you're above average.” —Pastor Jack Hyles, “Who Cares Anyway?”
“I believe any man in this world, can love any other man in this world, if he thinks right! The reason you hate is because you think hate. The reason you love is because you think love.” —Dr. Jack Hyles, a quote from the excellent MP3 sermon, “What The Law Could Not Do” (July 5, 1987 - First Baptist Church of Hammond, PM service)God doesn't love us because of who WE ARE; God loves us because of who HE IS. A godly husband is to love his own wife because of who HE IS, not who SHE IS. This is (Greek: agape) love, or true Biblical love. Although God does not favor (Greek: phileo) sinners, He does agape all of them unconditionally.
“Receiving from people doesn't make you love them more; giving to people makes you love them more, because you have an investment there.” —Pastor Jack Hyles, “How To Love"
“If you don't love your enemies, you have a baby love.” —Pastor Jack Hyles, “The Test Of Spiritual Maturity"
“Let emotion in. Let tears in. You're missing life. Let love in! ...America's dying for a lack of love and compassion! And our churches are dying...” —Pastor Jack Hyles, “Take The Shield Down”
Pastor Steven Anderson in a disturbing carnal sermon preached on Sunday evening, July 5th, 2026, publicly said that he wants his four oldest children DESTROYED. Something is very wrong with Pastor Anderson's heart. I humbly think he needs to resign and stop fighting the obvious, that he is a hateful person who woefully lacks the love of God for others.
Pastor Jack Hyles (1926-2001) is right that you cannot be happy tomorrow! If you're unhappy today, then you will be unhappy tomorrow because when tomorrow comes it will be today again. The important lesson to learn is to learn to be happy today, in all situations. I took Brother Hyles' advice, trying to enjoy the moment and make the best of each day. Life will be over soon enough, and we cannot stop time from marching forward.
God commands husbands to love their wives. Easier said than done, I know. But it is what God desires for men to do. As a Bible preacher, I receive many e-mails from angry, hurting and frustrated husbands because of their rebellious wives. If marriage were easy there wouldn't be so many divorces. There is no magic solution.
God only gives us life in 24 hour increments, and I believe our good and wise Creator did that on purpose, knowing that every day should be a new day. If there were not 24 hours in a day, how could God have commanded us in Ephesians 4:26, “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath.” Each and every day ought to be a new day. For many husbands their marriage feels like a war of trying to win by attrition.
I sincerely believe that all God expects from any of us is that we do better each day than yesterday. When the adulterous woman (caught in the very act) in John chapter eight was dragged by the wicked Pharisees to Jesus' feet (why didn't they bring the man?), she must have trembled with great fear. But Jesus refused to condemn or revile her. Instead, Jesus forgave her and simply said in compassion: “Go and sin no more.” Just do better!
The best advice that I can give to Christian husbands is to constantly focus upon what God has done for you. Ephesians 4:30-32, “And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.” I deserve to burn in Hell for my own sins. How could I deny the same forgiveness, compassion and kindness to my former spouse, when God has shown such amazing love, patience and grace toward a wretched sinner like me?
One of the greatest days of my life was decades ago when I just decided to forgive everybody who has ever hurt me, even those who have never apologized or sought my forgiveness; and I placed them all into God's hands for judgment, and I just decided to love them unconditionally with Christ's love. Since that time I have had peace like a river in my soul. Please don't mistake my oft criticisms of dead churches, corrupt Bible colleges and bad pastors as an unwillingness to forgive and let go; but rather, I do it for the sake of my readers. I am exposing evil and contending “for the faith which was once delivered unto the saints” (Jude 1:3).
Job 42:10, “And the LORD turned the captivity of Job, when he prayed for his friends: also the LORD gave Job twice as much as he had before.” Thank you for reading my ministry blog.





