Ephesians 5:28-33, “So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”
A godly husband and wife should cooperate with each other, meeting one another's needs, helping one another, “Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God” (Ephesians 5:21). When spouses become selfish and proud, then problems start.
A husband and wife should read (or listen to) the inspired King James Bible and listen to Bible preaching daily, and then share with each other the truths that you've learned. ...
Colossians 3:16-19, “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.”
Wives and husband should teach each other. That is what we just read in God's Word. We should counsel and warn each other. My wife Alice and I love sharing Bible truths with each other as we learn new things. The Bible says to “have grace in your hearts,” which is the opposite of selfish pride. Remember, as God's saints we grow in grace, not in strength (2nd Peter 3:18). The LORD is our strength! Psalms 18:1, “I will love thee, O LORD, my strength.” What a beautiful Bible truth!
Please notice Scripturally that wives are commanded by the LORD to reverence her own husband. Ephesians 5:33b, “and the wife see that she reverence her husband.” To “reverence” one's husband means “feeling or showing profound respect.” We don't see much wifely reverence for husbands in today's rotten American feminist influenced culture. In fact, we see the exact opposite from women, who wickedly tear down their husbands, belittle his manhood and treat him like an enemy. Feminism is of the Devil.
The inspired Word of God speaks much of hating or loving one's self. ...
Proverbs 8:36, “But he that sinneth against me wrongeth his own soul: all they that hate me love death.”Proverbs 11:17, “The merciful man doeth good to his own soul: but he that is cruel troubleth his own flesh.”Proverbs 19:8, “He that getteth wisdom loveth his own soul: he that keepeth understanding shall find good.”Proverbs 29:24, “Whoso is partner with a thief hateth his own soul: he heareth cursing, and bewrayeth it not.”
The godly husband who properly treats his own wife with respect, fairness, love and understanding is loving himself. An abusive husband (both physically and emotionally) abuses himself, destroying his own marriage. I regularly do the dishes in our home. I cook meals often. This week I made a special recipe for my wife, Puerto Rican Chicken Fricassee Stew, which she loved. Her Mom was from Kentucky, her step dad was from Puerto Rico. So she grew up around the Puerto Rican culture. I surprised her with this recipe to make her happy, because I love my wife and therefore want to have a servant's heart. Matthew 23:11, “But he that is greatest among you shall be your servant.”
The Bible teaches that a backslider follows HIS OWN WAYS; but a good (godly) man lives to please God rather than his own selfish whims (cf., Ecclesiastes 12:13). ...
Proverbs 14:14, “The backslider in heart shall be filled with his own ways: and a good man shall be satisfied from himself.”
The only reason why there are divorces is because of sinful pride. Proverbs 13:10, “Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom.” And Jesus said in Matthew 19:8b, “Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.” Anyone can live with anybody if you can learn to be a nobody. Galatians 6:3, “For if a man think himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceiveth himself.” We were all wonderfully made by God from the dust of the earth. Isaiah 64:8, “But now, O LORD, thou art our father; we are the clay, and thou our potter; and we all are the work of thy hand.”
A happy marriage is two people making a life for each other. A Christian marriage is two people never giving up on each other, just like God NEVER gives up on His own. Hebrews 13:5-6, “Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.”
By God's grace, you can be anyone you choose to be. If you've been mean toward your spouse, you CAN start being nice simply by trying. We all fail and fail and fail at pleasing God, but all the LORD expects is that we keep trying with His grace. Remember, the Christian life is lived the same way we were saved, which is BY FAITH (Galatians 2:20-21).
Just Hang In Their Faithful To God
Dear reader, when we tough it out and hang in there staying married, even when our spouse is not cooperating and refuses to obey God, we are being faithful to God.
I heard a tremendous sermon this week by Pastor Steven Anderson titled: “Four Dangers Of Servant Leadership.” Don't let the title fool you, there are some great marriage truths in this sermon. For example: Brother Anderson emphasizes the truth that a wife is commanded by God to obey her husband, even if he is a total jerk. And a husband is commanded by God to love and not be bitter against his wife, even if she is rebellious. Ouch! How many married couples follow these Bible teachings? Sadly, not many. Oh, how we need a revival in our marriages. God hates divorce!
I listened to another edifying sermon this morning by Brother Anderson...
“Everybody that I have ever known has had marriage problems. I've had marriage problems. You've had marriage problems. It's just life. That's just life. It's just part of being married. If staying married were easy everybody'd be doing it! Where do you think all this divorce is coming from? Is it coming because marriage is always easy? No, it's because there are gonna be those low points. There are gonna be those trials and tribulations. And there are gonna be those times where your tempted to just quit, and just say: 'That's it, I'm leaving!' and 'She can leave!' and 'I'm out!' and 'She's out!' and 'He can leave!' and all this garbage. Hey, look my friend, it's 'til death do us part.” —Pastor Steven Anderson, “Enlargement And Deliverance” (March 15, 2026)
“Now you say, well, my marriage has been bad for years and it's just still bad, and it's been bad for 10 years, 15 years. Okay, well here's the thing, I understand. I'm not going to give you a pie in the sky that your marriage is always going to be fixed, because you know what, sadly, that's a reality. Sometimes you are married for 10, 15, 20 years, and it's just bad, and then it's more bad, and more, and you try to do the right things, and it's just bad because it's the other person's fault. That's out there! So, I'm not always gonna say that it's your fault. You can do all the right things and the other person is just not wanting to play ball, and they just never get onboard, and they're just never going to be right with God. You know, a husband that's just never going to love you as Christ loved the Church; a wife that's just never going to submit unto you and obey you and honor you and respect you. Hey, I get it that that exists. But do you know what what I would say? I would say, continue to be faithful to your spouse. Continue to love your wife that doesn't respect you. Continue to submit to your husband that doesn't love you. Continue to do what God has told you to do, and even if He never fixes your marriage, He will enlarge you in other ways.” —Pastor Steven Anderson, “Enlargement And Deliverance”
I am not a Pastor Charles H. Spurgeon fan, because he was a 2-point Calvinist. Spurgeon taught the Calvinist heresies of Limited Atonement (Jesus only died for the saints) and the Perseverance Of The Saints (a saint must persevere in holiness to get to Heaven). That being said, I fully agree with Pastor Spurgeon in the following quote about marriage...
“Where there is a lack of this mutual affection, it does not deserve the name of marriage. The pain and anguish of such a relationship would be a heavy load for either heart to bear; but where there is true and genuine love; it is the sweetest and happiest mode of living. It is one of the blessings of paradise, which has been preserved for us after the fall. Without love, wedded life must be like experiencing some of the very pains of hell on earth.” SOURCE
Pastor Surgeon preached that sermon in 1867, which was 159 years ago as of 2026. God's saints had marriage problems back then just like today, and throughout human civilization.
In Genesis chapter 27 in the Old Testament, we have the biography of a dysfunctional family. Rebekah was manipulative. She convinced their son Jacob to deceive his father Isaac, and to defraud his brother Esau out of his inheritance blessings. Isaac was stubborn and refused to obey God, who had commanded before their son's were born that the elder would serve the younger. Jacob was a Mama's boy who stayed in the kitchen, while Esau was masculine and a skilled hunter who provided meat for the family. Jacob was a cheat, dishonest, a liar and conniver. He took advantage of his brother Esau. When his father's eyesight had failed so that he could no longer hardly see, Jacob wickedly tricked him. Jacob's very name means a “trickster.” God has given us this family's tragic story to give us comfort and hope that everything will work out together for good in the end for God's redeemed saints (Romans 8:28; 15:4). I appreciate that God has given us a privileged look into this dysfunctional family. Every family has dirty laundry!
We Must All Answer To God In Eternity
In any marriage you are uniting two sinners. Sadly, some married individuals intentionally provoke their spouse to anger by deliberately mistreating them, hoping they'll file for divorce so they can blame their spouse for quitting the marriage and claim to be a victim of divorce, when God fully sees that they waned it to happen at the hands of the other spouse. Dear reader, there is nothing hidden from the eyes of God, “but all things are naked and opened unto the eyes of him with whom we have to do” (Hebrews 4:13b). See also Proverbs 24:12.
When you try and fail at being a better spouse, just get back up and try again. Every day is a new day! Proverbs 24:16, “For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again: but the wicked shall fall into mischief.” The wicked person doesn't even try to please God, they deliberately live in open sin. That is why lost sinners won't come to Jesus to be saved, lest their evil deeds be reprimanded by the indwelling Holy Spirit (John 3:20, 5:40). Evildoers don't want the Holy Spirit in them, which is why the refuse to come to the light of the truth to be saved. Their love for sin hinders them from getting saved,
That being said, you don't have to forsake your sinning to be saved, nor even be willing to forsake your sins (because that would be works). You do however need to acknowledge that you're a guilty sinner (Romans 3:19-20). Why is this so? It is simply because you need to know what you're being saved from, which is sin; and why you need to be saved, which is because the penalty of sin is to burn in the tormentuous never-ending fires of Hell day and night without hope or rest forever (Revelation 14:11, 20:11-15, 21:8). Please don't go to Hell.
Jesus doesn't require that you give up your sinning to be saved; but rather, Christ died on a cross 2,000 years ago to save you from your sins. Matthew 1:21, “And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name JESUS: for he shall save his people from their sins.” Salvation is not a matter of what you can do for Christ; it is a matter of what Christ has done for you. The true Gospel always points you to CHRIST; a false gospel always points to YOU. Salvation is not doing your best, it is having Christ's best put to your account through receiving Him by faith.
Let God be the strength of your marriage dear reader and you'll make it. Psalms 18:1, “I will love thee, O LORD, my strength.” Thank you for reading my ministry blog friend. To our faithful God alone be all the praise, credit and glory. Jesus is precious!!!
