Don't Let People Guilt-Trip You For Not Going To Church

Hebrews 10:23-27, “Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised;) And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching. For if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins, But a certain fearful looking for of judgment and fiery indignation, which shall devour the adversaries.”

We live in a world of self-righteous hypocrites. Sometimes religious people make me sick! Our text passage of Scripture from the New Testament book of Hebrews (particularly verse 25 about not forsaking the assembly of ourselves together) is perhaps the most abused and misused Bible verse today. I have had mean people cruelly throw this Bible verse in my face, trying to make me feel guilty for missing a church service due to my poor health, or for not going to church at all because I couldn't find an acceptable one to attend. That is a very ungodly thing to do to someone, guilt-tripping them.

According to PositivePsychology.com in the Netherlands...

Guilt tripping is a manipulative tactic where one person tries to make another feel guilty to influence their behavior or decisions. It often involves emotional pressure that targets the recipient's sense of responsibility or care for the person applying the guilt. SOURCE

A lot of religious people try to guilt-trip others to be unkind and a jerk. They should all SHUT UP in Jesus' name!

When I attended the Harvest Baptist Church on Guam in 2014, I stayed home the previous Sunday because my neck pain was overwhelming and I didn't sleep well at night. When a young Christian fella in the Navy asked where I was last Sunday, I told him the truth that I was in much neck pain. The jerk said, “Forsake not the assembling of ourselves together Brother!” What he said deeply hurt my feelings. What a selfish jerk! I am old enough to be his father. I am sick and tired of hypocrites! If you ever do that to someone, guilt-tripping them, you are the scum of the earth as a human being!

Several years ago I had another little tramp do the same thing to me. I was visiting the Lighthouse Baptist Church on Guam in 2018 for about a year. The young Christian woman asked where I was the previous Sunday and I told her the truth that I was at home in much pain and suffering. She looked down her long Pharisaical nose to condemn me, saying: “Well, we have a man in church that has high blood pressure, and he takes the same prescription medications as you do, and he is always here at church.” I wanted to call her a “stupid cold-hearted bitch,” but I said nothing as a gentleman, knowing that she is very immature as an adult. She had no idea what she was even talking about. In fact, we DON'T take the “same” prescription drugs, and how the hell would she even know what medications we take? Listen dear reader, it is none of anybody's damn business who goes to church, or why someone stayed home, et cetera. People need to learn to mind their own business!

I have no doubt that some zealous churchgoer is going to criticize me for this article, but so be it, that doesn't mean that I am wrong. God understand each person's individual and unique situation. In his helpful book (that I cherish reading again and again), “I Never Knew You,” by Christian author Michael P. Bowen, he writes on page 115 that he cannot attend any of the churches in his town because they all preach a counterfeit plan of salvation...

According to many verses in the bible, especially those warnings God gave to us through Paul in the book of Galatians, you should never listen to anyone’s message that runs counter to the message given to us by Christ, and you should never attend a church where the pastor tells the flock that they must add works of discipleship to faith in Christ’s “finished work” as the way to enter heaven. That’s exactly the reason why I no longer attend any of the local churches in my current hometown. [emphasis added] —Michael P. Bowen, “I Never Knew You,” p, 115

For that very reason I have been expelled (kicked out) of the last five churches that I've attended, for merely TELLING THE TRUTH. Today's incompetent pastors are dingleberries!

The Bible teaches that guilt-tripping is a form of emotional manipulation that can harm relationships and is not a healthy way to communicate. Instead, it emphasizes the importance of forgiveness and kindness, encouraging individuals to treat each other with compassion rather than using guilt to control or influence actions. I understand that there are many different scenarios, so I am not addressing every instance in this blog.

I am writing this particular article to encourage anyone who like me, has had much difficulty finding a doctrinally sound local church to attend; and who like me, has health afflictions which cause them to need to be at home most of the time. After all, that is why I receive medical disability. Yet, there are many complete asswholes in churches today who will selfishly berate, scold, tear down, guilt-trip and criticize you for your situation, having zero empathy for you.

When you put someone down for missing church, putting the guilt-trip on them for their situation, the Bible likens you to a monster who takes away someone's warm coat in the winter, leaving them to freeze to death in the cold.  Proverbs 25:20, “As he that taketh away a garment in cold weather, and as vinegar upon nitre, so is he that singeth songs to an heavy heart.” That jerk at Harvest Baptist Church on Guam who guilt-tripped me for missing church was a perfectly healthy young man at the time. What a self-righteous hypocrite!

And that young Christian woman at the Lighthouse Baptist Church on Guam who guilt-tripped me for missing church, she and her husband eventually quit going to church and stayed at home for years! What a little self-righteous hypocrite! To the best of my recollection, as a witness before God my Savior, I have never one time in my entire life guilt-tripped anybody for anything!

Sometimes people email me and ask, “Are you talking about me?” I never tell them because THEY KNOW if it's them. I tell them instead what I tell everyone, “If the shoe fits wear it!” If my preaching rings your bell, then I probably am talking about you. If it doesn't then don't worry about it and learn from other's sin failures. I am not trying to upset or offend anybody, and if you are offended then you are missing the entire point of my sermon article. What saith the Scripture?

2nd Corinthians 10:12, “For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.”

What do you care who comes to church and how often? What's it to you? You should mind your own business. My old boss used to wisely say: “If you've got enough time to watch what others aren't doing, then you must not have enough work to do yourself.” Amen to that! People should drive in their own lane and mind their own vehicle. Some of the most miserable, hateful and resentful people are the ones who always notice what everybody else is doing or not doing. Really, live your own life in obedience to the Lord Jesus Christ, and pray for others who are lagging behind in your opinion. It's not your jurisdiction to condemn others.

Ah, and then there's the religious hypocrite for a wife, who wickedly badgers her husband to go to church. I fully agree with Pastor Curtis Hutson, who teaches that if a Christian husband tells his wife to stay home with him from church, she should stay home. If you disagree with that, it is only because you have been adversely influenced by the evils of toxic feminism.

I’ve been thinking about how feminism is destroying women and marriages. It’s everywhere now. I know a good man whose wife just left him. The guy would have done anything for her, bent over backwards, but she said she just wasn’t “happy.” So many women today have been sold the Devil's lies and they’re chasing something that doesn’t even exist. Many disgruntled wives are wearing rose-colored glasses, chasing unicorns and rainbows to nowhere. Proverbs 14:1, “Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.”

With the blessing of the internet in these modern times it has never been easier to obey Hebrews 10:25b, “not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is...” It's not the same as physically attending a local church, I get that. But it is nevertheless possible to hear solid, fundamental, Christ-honoring, Bible preaching today via an internet connection. And you can tithe to a church online. And you can encourage and fellowship with the saints online. Praise God! So, you don't have to physically go into a concrete building somewhere to obey this Scripture.

Please don't misunderstand me. I am a firm believer that everybody should attend a local Bible-believing, free grace Gospel only, inspired King James Bible only, sin-fighting, soulwinning, people-loving, separated, fundamentalist, New Testament church. Unfortunately, an increasing number of believers simply cannot find a doctrinally sound church in their local area to attend, and that's a big problem. It's becoming next to impossible anymore to find a Baptist church that doesn't preach the damnable heresies of Lordship Salvation (Calvinism) and Misunderstood Repentance (aka, the “repent of your sins” to be saved crap). These are corrupt cults that you SHOULD NOT attend, not for even one hour (Galatians 2:5).

So, please don't condemn me for my health afflictions if I stay home from church more than half of the time. You are wicked and a horrible person if you berate and guilt-trip anyone for missing church. What you ought to be doing is encouraging that person, praying for them and telling that individual or family know that you love them in the Lord.

And please don't condemn someone for not going to church if all of the churches in their area are preaching damnable heresy! I tell you, you'd be ten thousand times better off staying home from church altogether, than to go to a cult that preaches Satan's fraud of Lordship Salvation, and the “turn from your wicked ways” garbage to be saved that Ken Ham preaches;, or they use the Devil's toxic modern polluted Bible perversions. RUN away quickly!

Furthermore, not everyone can drive for an hour to find a good church. I personally cannot drive for more than about 20 minutes due to my adverse health and prescription drug side effects, because I fall asleep behind the wheel.

When I visited Tennessee in 2013, I fell asleep while driving and and almost died, crashing my rent car into the roadway barrier safety wall. Thankfully, those safety walls are designed to lean back when you hit them, and toss your car's wheel back onto the roadway, which saved my life. I was lucky and blessed. My guardian angels were on the job watching over me that day! So, I try not to drive more than short distances.

Dear reader, my whole point in all that I have shared with you in this article is simply that you don't know what other people have to deal with. You don't know their whole story. You don't know what prescription medications they are taking, how many drugs, or how those various medications interact and impact that person's health, mind and life. Who are you to condemn them for staying home from church?

At present I am taking SEVEN different prescription medications from two different doctors to control my Type II diabetes, triglycerides, neck pain, burning nerves and radiating sharp pain in my limbs. I cannot express in words how miserable I am right now, physically. The agonizing pain in my neck in a burning pain that radiates into my shoulders and upper back. It is debilitating. The entire right side of my body feels half asleep all the time, which feels like dead weight when I stand up to walk. I live in a lonely world of pain and discomfort.

The sharp pain radiating down my right arm into my thumb is so awful, ruining my day. I love playing stringed musical instruments, but rarely feel the ambition to do so. I just need to lay down and rest. Sadly, my own wife does not understand what I am suffering through, and she is unfairly demanding of me at times, lacking compassion and understanding to “put up with me.” I get irritated and frustrated very easily. She doesn't allow me any slack. I am the bad guy. 

All I can do is hang in there, and pray for God's grace. Not being able to obtain an adequate amount of prescription pain medication in Florida has made everything much more difficult for me. I am only given 40 mg of OxyContin daily by m doctor, which is a joke compared to the 140 mg I received daily 15 years ago on Guam. I need at least 80 mg to cope. Just 40 mg a day is not near enough, but no one cares! The government certainly doesn't care about pain sufferers. The doctors are afraid of getting into trouble with the government, so they refuse to treat the pain. Tyranny is only recognized by those who are oppressed by it. We are not anywhere near as "free" as we have been led to believe by the corrupt American media and White House. It is a shame that U.S. citizens suffering in pain are mistreated like criminals. I digress.

In conclusion, if you know a Christian who is not faithful to attend church, don't guilt-trip, berate, condemn or put them down. Instead, encourage them in the LORD by showing unconditional love toward them. Cordially invite them to church, but don't pressure them. And if they tell you that they have health problems, let them know that you understand and accept that reason and leave it alone. Pray for that individual. 1st Peter 4:8, “And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.”