Keep The Faith When You Feel Like God Has Failed You

Hebrews 11:6, “But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.”

This is a great truth.

THE HALL OF FAITH
(a beautiful truth by Pastor Steven L. Anderson)

Abraham waited for years for God to keep His promise to give him a son, but it seemed like God lied. As the years came and went, Abraham became discouraged. Abraham thought it might be his nephew Lot at first, but time proved it wasn't. Then Abraham thought it might be his servant, Eleazar. But time proved it wasn't. Abraham still had zero children! So, in frustration Abraham and Sarah contrived a plot to impregnate their servant girl, Hagar, but God also rejected Ishmael as the son of promise. Abraham had to wait, thinking week by week, and month by month, and year by year, that God had failed him.

I Often Feel Like God Has Abandoned Me

Now, I don't know about you dear friend, but I have been in the same situation as Abraham for as long as I can remember. I have been praying for God to give my a wife for over 15 years. The Lord promised to meet my needs (Matthew 6:8). But sadly, I am still all alone, sad and hurting in bodily pain each day with no companion. There is a passage of Scripture in the Old testament that discourages me every time I read it...

2nd Samuel 12:8, “And I gave thee thy master's house, and thy master's wives into thy bosom, and gave thee the house of Israel and of Judah; and if that had been too little, I would moreover have given unto thee such and such things.”

God told David that He had given him the house of King Saul. The Lord told David that if he had simply asked, He would have given David more wives. Unfortunately, David murdered Uriah to steal his wife, Bathsheba, which was terribly wicked. David already had at least 17 wives! I have only asked God for one wife, but He hasn't answered my prayer. Does God care more about David than me? That is how I feel. Why the double standard? Why was God willing to give David whatever he wanted, but I suffer alone? That hurts my heart.

When I almost found a wife on Guam, the nurse that I loved was coerced by her wicked boss to get rid of mem and she did. Her Satanic wicked pastor, Marty Herron, prohibited me from coming back to church because I befriended him with THE TRUTH that Lordship Salvation is a lie of Satan, and that John MacArthur is a deadly Calvinist false prophet, and that repantance does NOT mean to forsake a lifestyle of sinning to be saved, and that Martin Luther (who taught the heresy of Baptismal Regenerariton until his death in 1546) was NOT a born again Christian.

For sharing these SOLEMN TRUTHS with the incompetent pastors at Harvest Baptist Church on Guam in 2014, I was wickedly counted as their enemy (Galatians 4:16). I was wickedly shunned and banned from attending the church anymore, and Kristen Hurlburt (whom I know as sure as I am saved would have married me) was coerced to get rid of me by her wicked boss (her thug pastor). Anybody who says otherwise is a liar. God knows that I speak THE TRUTH! So, I live alone without a wife, because of Marty Herron's evil rebellion, false religion and hatred against THE TRUTH, and me as a servant of THE TRUTH. I pray for God to avenge me of that hellbound Calvinist Devil, Marty Herron. My blood is on his evil hands.

It has been very depressing for me since my former ungodly wife selfishly abandoned and divorced me in 2006. God will punish her for betraying her marriage vows. I feel abandoned, not just by my x-wife, but also by God, since He won't help me find a mate. I have contemplated taking my own life at times, because I was so lonely. Every Baptist pastor I know has a wife. They are selfish and couldn't care less about anybody except themselves. I am at the point where I am starting to hate Baptist pastors, for their utter hypocrisy, tolerance of damnable heresy, and love of money. The emotional pain from being alone is unbearable at times. When I walk through any store, I feel like dying because I am so lonely. Nobody knows your pain.

I often feel down in the dumps because of my physical neck pain (since 2004 when my disability began), burning nerves throughout my upper body (since 2010 when my second neck surgery went wrong), and utter loneliness daily (since 2006 when my former wife quit her marriage). I choose to share my own heavy burdens and pain of soul with my blog visitors, to help others by being transparent.

Don't Browbeat Or Condemn Hurting People

I hate religious hypocrities who put me down—pompous and haughy, belittling me while I am hurting and discourging—shoving the Bible in my face. They meanly tell me why I should be joyful and rejoicing in the Lord all the time, having zero understanding or compasison for my grief, loneliness, bodily pain, sorrow and daily grief. People can be so mean and cruel. Sometimes people just need a true friend to stay quiet and just listen.

One horrible man at the Harvest Baptist Church that I attended on Guam years ago, when I explained that I couldn't be at church the previous Sunday due to my neck pain, cruelly remarked by quoting part of Hebrews 10:25. He cruelly remarked: “Forsake not the assembling of ourselves together, Brother!” What a wicked thing to say to a physically hurting person! He had no idea of what I was feeling inside my body, nor what I was (and am) suffering through. No one knows your pain except you!!!

Dear reader, please don't ever browbeat anyone for skipping church, no matter what the reason. You are not God. You are not the church attendance police. It is not your job to do the work of the Holy Spirit to convict others. PEOPLE JUST WANT TO BE LOVED. Simply unconditionally love them with Christ's love. Tell them that you are so glad they came to church this week, and that you missed them while they were gone.

Have Faith In God No Matter What Happens (Or Doesn't Happen)

Have you ever found yourself asking these quesitons (I have):

• Why is God ignoring my prayers?
• Where is the Lord?
• Why am I going through life's hardships all alone?
• What's the point of praying if God never answers my prayers?
• If God cares about me why won't He help me?

I absolutely HATE those stupid religious books which provide reasons for unanswered prayers, because EVERYONE violates multiple reasons at any given time (which would justify God not answering our prayers). I mean, we know that if we regard sin in our heart God won't hear our prayers. Psalms 66:18, “If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me...” You can drive yourself crazy thinking about this Bible verse. We're all guilty of wondering if we've done something wrong, because we all sin continually every day. When God doesn't answer our prayers we tend to go to the dark side in our thinking. That is a part of our sinful human nature.

But dear reader, Hebrews 4:15-16 teaches that as a redeemed saint, you have a RIGHT to “come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need” (Hebrews 4:16b). I think many Christians feel the same as Abraham did, and as I often do, like God has dropped the ball. God must have forgot about me! The Lord must not care about me. If you'll be honest, I think everyone entertains these negative self-defeating thoughts at times. I know I do. Most people say that it is the Devil talking, but I humbly think we give the Devil too much credit. The Bible teaches in Jeremiah 17:9, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?”

Faith includes believing and doubting, but it is acting on the belief. It is impossible to have faith without doubt. Faith is not the absence of doubt; but rather, it is the presence of belief. No matter how much you may doubt the inspired Holy Bible, if you will simply put a childlike trust in the Lord Jesus Christ, you will have eternal life immediately and forever (John 6:47).

Abraham had to stay by the stuff, even when he felt like God wasn't answering his prayers, until things finally worked out. And then when God finally gave Abraham a son, the Lord commanded Abraham to kill his son. Unreal! Wow! This remarkable true story teaches us to HAVE FAITH IN THE WORD OF GOD no matter what life throws at us, no matter what happens. Should it be surprising then, that our dear Savior echoed these eternal words in Mark 11:22b, “Have faith in God.” God will come through on His promises! Ultimately our rewards will come when we die. What a beautiful truth!!!

God may never answer my prayer to help me find a wife. As a child of God I cannot marry an unsaved woman. That greatly limits my choices. At age 57, there are not many choices. American women frighten me because of our Satanic court system that makes divorce super easy. That is the only reason my former wife abandoned and divorced me in 2006, because the wicked U.S. government makes it easy to divorce.

I would love to marry a Filipina girl, but the lengthy legal process is cumbersome (it takes up to 5 years to obtain a K-1 fiancee visa), and I am simply not up to flying 10,000 miles to run around the Philippines and deal with all the hassles and potential bandits. My neck hurts so bad that I don't want to do anything, or go anywhere. So, I am in a difficult situation. I wish the Philippine government didn't make it so hard to marry a Filipina woman. I am also considering Vietnam, Lord willing. Anyway, I love, thank and praise God for His blessings. There's never a bite of food that I put into my mouth, without thanking God for it. I probably say “Lord willing” and “God willing” (when speaking of future plans), more than 99% of Christians, as the Bible commands us to do (James 4:15-16).

I am encouraged when I think about Abraham. He waited patiently year after year for God to keep His promise to give him a son, but nothing ever happened. After ten years, Abraham still didn't have a child. Sarah was now already in her 90's, a very old woman, incapable of bearing any children. Abraham must have felt like Charlie Brown in the Pumpkin Patch waiting for “The Great Pumpkin” to arrive, but he never came. I think Sarah, being Abraham's wife, saw his grief, frustration, doubt and pain of fruitlessly waiting year after year after year for nothing.

But finally, after 16 miserable long years of waiting, God came through. Perhaps when I am 80 years old God will give me a wife...lol. I don't know. I admit that sometimes I get angry at God, for ignoring my prayers. I admittedly don't see the hand of God working in my life, but I do trust the great heart of God. In the Old Testament book of Esther, God is not mentioned even once. Yet, we (as the reader) can see the migyty hand of God working throughout the situation. Esther and her people couldn't see their hand in front of their face. For all Esther knew, she was about to die, when she approached the king without his express permission. God was with Esther and everything worked out well in the end.

Despite my doubts and frustration, I trust God. I echo the words of Job in Job 13:15, “Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him: but I will maintain mine own ways before him.” So, when you feel frustrated like Abraham, as I often am, just KEEP GOING IN FAITH.

The Lord's thoughts and ways are above our thoughts and ways. Who am I to challenge or question our omnipotent Creator? I am the creature; God is the Creator! I haven't been happy in many many years, but my purpose for being created wasn't to be happy in life, it was to make God happy with my life. Revelation 4:11 says that all things were created for God's pleasure. 1st Corinthians 6:20, “For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.”

Since 2002 I have labored diligently night and day on my website ministry. In 2020, I started my blog ministry. Only God knows how many hours I have invested into my ministry work, but it must be well over 50,000 hours over the past 22 years. On numerous occassions, since I live alone without a wife, I have worked for 37 hours straight through. I couldn't sleep. My neck pain is debilitating and makes it difficult to sleep at night. God is so good and I have no complaints. Blessed be the name of the Lord, for He is faithful and good. Jesus is precious!!!

Genesis 22:9-12, “And they came to the place which God had told him of; and Abraham built an altar there, and laid the wood in order, and bound Isaac his son, and laid him on the altar upon the wood. And Abraham stretched forth his hand, and took the knife to slay his son.  And the angel of the LORD called unto him out of heaven, and said, Abraham, Abraham: and he said, Here am I. And he said, Lay not thine hand upon the lad, neither do thou any thing unto him: for now I know that thou fearest God, seeing thou hast not withheld thy son, thine only son from me.”