Matthew 19:3-11,The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry. But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given.”
I stumbled across a shameful website today called “LifeSavingDivorce.com,” which provides the following information about it...
Hi, my name is Gretchen Baskerville. I'm a Christian in the Los Angeles area who has been doing Christian divorce recovery ministry in churches since 1998. As you can imagine, I've heard many many heartbreaking stories of betrayal and abuse.
Christian women and men find themselves married to serial cheaters, sexually immoral spouses, or physically or emotionally or verbally abusive spouses. They tried to fix their marriage. They prayed. They forgave. They got counseling. They talked to their pastor, but nothing changed. The horror continued.
Finally they decided: “It’s over. I can’t go on any longer. For myself and for the sake of my children, I need to end it."
If you are going through a life-saving divorce, there is hope and happiness for you (and your kids)! You are not alone.
First, I sympathize with anyone who is married to an abusive spouse. I am not condoning any type of marital abuse, God forbid. I have heard plenty of horror stories myself. But where does a married person draw the line? What is considered “abuse?” How much abuse justifies the so-called “breaking point” to justify a divorce? I knew a kind man whom I worked with for 4 years, in the late 1980's, who said that he never abused his wife during their 6 year marriage. He said that he raised his voice just one time at her, and she was all it took for her to divorce him! I have heard bitter women suggest that married women file for divorce for name calling. I am not defending those type of things, but for someone who wants out of a marriage, they can demonize their spouse for anything. It is a dangerous and unbiblical precedent to say that divorce is acceptable, and that God permits divorce, under arbitrary circumstances. If divorce is okay for someone who thinks they are being abused, then divorce becomes subjective.
The “LifeSavingDivorce.com” website errantly teaches:
“Scripture shows that God gives permission to divorce.”
Gretchen cites Matthew 19:9 as grounds for divorce in cases of adultery. However, she is wrong. Jesus was referring to an Old Testament passage in Deuteronomy 24:1, “When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house.” Jesus was speaking about an engaged couple, who call off their wedding because one of the couple have been found to be morally unfaithful.
We see a good example of this in the story of Mary and Joseph in Matthew 1:18-20, “Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost. Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a publick example, was minded to put her away privily. But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost.” Please notice that the Bible calls Joseph Mary's “husband,” but they were not married yet. They had not yet consummated their marriage as man and woman.
Clearly, this is what Jesus was referring to in Matthew 19:9, and not giving permission for anyone to divorce their spouse. For a married couple, the sin of divorce meant the death penalty. Leviticus 20:10, “And the man that committeth adultery with another man's wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbour's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.” In our ungodly American culture today, adultery is not punished as a serious crime, which it should be. In fact, the state of Maryland mocks the Holy Bible by charging adulterers a $10 fine. What an insult and wickedness to God almighty!
One of the most commonly quoted Scriptures showing that God hates divorce is from Malachi 2:16. Gretchen only quotes verse 16, and uses dozens of corrupt modern Bible revisions in an attempt to prove that bad husbands hate their wives, and not that God hates divorce. Malachi 2:15-17, “And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously. Ye have wearied the LORD with your words. Yet ye say, Wherein have we wearied him? When ye say, Every one that doeth evil is good in the sight of the LORD, and he delighteth in them; or, Where is the God of judgment?” Gretchen uses the inconsistencies between the different Bible revisions, in an attempt to prove that no one can say with any Biblical authority that God hates divorce. She totally ignores Matthew 19:8, “He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.” God never wants a divorce to happen! God hates divorce.
Gretchen misinterprets Matthew 19:9 to accuse God of giving permission to divorce in cases of adultery...
“Scripture shows that God gives permission to divorce.”
Carefully notice that Jesus specifically used the word “fornication,” and not “adultery” in Matthew 19:9, “And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.” Fornication means that a couple are not legally married yet. This was the case with Joseph and Mary, who were espoused to get married.
Kindly said, Gretchen then takes this unscriptural premise (that it's allegedly okay to divorce for adultery) and she expands that right to apply to all types of abuse. This is deceitful. The purpose of writing this article is not to belittle, condemn nor criticize Gretchen, but to contend for the faith, showing Biblically that she is teaching heresy. God does not give permission for anyone to divorce. Our ungodly government imprisons people when convicted for a crime, forcing spouses into situations where they are compelled to divorce. That is one reason why God instituted the death penalty, to free the innocent spouse to move on. Prisons are unbiblical. Abusive husbands should be dealt with by the courts. Divorce is not the answer.
I keep hearing angry women demonize husbands for looking at smut on the internet, or in girly magazines; but our American government sanctions these very evils. What hypocrisy! I heard a woman say, who divorced her husband, that he looked at smut (I don't want to use the word to avoid being censored). She was attempting to justify her decision to divorce, based on something that is perfectly legal in America (which is shameful and needs to be harshly dealt with and criminalized). I wish the U.S. government would shut down every smutty website, every sensual music video, every filthy magazine, hellish H.B.O. movies, and Hollywood (who all promote that garbage).
I also want to say that I would NEVER condemn or belittle someone who has been divorced. What's done is done! The Bible teaches that if a woman divorces her husband, she should stay single, or reunited with her former husband. 1st Corinthians 7:10-11, “And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.” Gretchen's website is the counsel of the ungodly (Psalms 1:1-2). This carnal advice is dangerous to Christian women. The website links to this relationship self-test, to determine if you are being abused. Honestly, based on that self-test, anybody and their dog could claim to be a victim! Folks, marriages have problems. Like it or not, the Bible ordains that the man, and not the woman, is the head of the family. There is not equality in authority in the home, family or church. The man is to lead the woman. Women are to be in subjection to their own husbands. Gretchen's carnal advice damns the man!!! Wives are “To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed” (Titus 2:5).
Kindly said, American women today are angry, bitter and empowered by the courts! It is open season on men these days. American women have been socially engineered to think like Gretchen, with a chip on their shoulder, ready to divorce if they don't get the treatment they think they deserve! So what they do is magnify extreme cases of abuse in order to promote their agenda. We have seen this happen with abortion ever since Roe vs. Wade, hearing about the elusive woman with a coat-hanger in some back alley. Yet, not one such incident has ever been medically documented. Yet, abortionists use such extreme and bizarre fallacious stories to justify keeping abortion legal. Abortion is first-degree premeditated murder!
American Media Portray Men As Being Stupid
American society for the past 50 years has increasingly portrayed men and fathers as being incompetent, stupid and irresponsible (here's part two). Dads are the most underappreciated resource in the family. This continual mocking in our culture does have an adverse affect on society. The media relentlessly portray men as idiots. By constantly stereotyping men as being losers, feminists have alienated themselves, thinking that good men are hard to find. No, most women today are living in a fantasy world, looking for that perfect guy, failing to recognize a good man when they see one. The American media portrays Dads in a negative way, marginalized fathers at best.
Somewhere along the line television went from teens expressing respect for their fathers, to irreverence, to utter disdain. Now your Dad is shown to be a stupid moron who doesn't understand the world. There is a woeful lack of respect for men in the United States states. Women's attitudes have been completely reshaped as compared to the 1950's when men went to work, and women stayed at home as wives and mothers. Today the careerwoman phenomena is a destructive thing to the traditional home, which is unfortunate.
God Does Not Permit Divorce
Kindly, Gretchen's premise for filing for divorce is ongoing abuse. ...
Christian women and men find themselves married to serial cheaters, sexually immoral spouses, or physically or emotionally or verbally abusive spouses. They tried to fix their marriage. They prayed. They forgave. They got counseling. They talked to their pastor, but nothing changed. The horror continued.
Finally they decided: “It’s over. I can’t go on any longer. For myself and for the sake of my children, I need to end it."
If you are going through a life-saving divorce, there is hope and happiness for you (and your kids)! You are not alone.
SOURCE: http://lifesavingdivorce.com
This is such ungodly advice! What saith the Scripture? ...
1st Peter 3:1-4, “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.”
Gretchen's entire website approaches divorce from the attitude that one partner is a monster, and the other is a victim. A Biblically-minded Christian understands humbly that we are all needy sinners (Romans 3:10-23). Don't judge others because they sin differently than you do! Do you see what Gretchen is doing? She justifies the abandoned spouse as a monster. ...
“Christian women and men find themselves married to serial cheaters, sexually immoral spouses, or physically or emotionally or verbally abusive spouses.”
SOURCE: http://lifesavingdivorce.com
And then she whitewashes the other as the perfect partner...
“They tried to fix their marriage. They prayed. They forgave. They got counseling. They talked to their pastor, but nothing changed. The horror continued.”
SOURCE: http://lifesavingdivorce.com
I think the entire message set forth by “LifeSavingDivorce.com” is a distortion of reality. The truth is that no marriage partner is perfect, and God doesn't permit divorce. I am not saying that there aren't abusive relationships. I am saying that God doesn't permit divorce. When anyone files for divorce, it is because of the hardness of hearts. That is what Jesus' said. In fact, the Lord said that the person filing for divorce is the one with the hardened heart!
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