I Have Suffered From Panic Attacks Over The Years Too

1st Corinthians 10:13, “There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.”

A web visitor recently wrote to me, saying that he has panic attacks. I do too! I have had a lot of things to panic about during my life...lol. I used to have them a lot more than I do now, but even now sometimes I have them. I tend to involuntarily breathe shallow in church, and that induces a panic attack. I don't even realize that I am not breathing enough air. I think it is because I feel a bit apprehensive around people. When I feel a panic attack coming on, I take about 10 deep breaths and that calms me. In a panic attack, you feel like your emotions are closing in around you, and it feels scary. I get panic attacks on airplanes, being very claustrophobic. That is why I cannot fly coach, I have to fly business class, which costs twice as much. That is why I rarely fly. Ironically, I have been on over 100 airplanes in my lifetime.

I have always struggled with self-consciousness. The Bible teaches that we are dead in Christ, and I feel guilty for thinking about myself. Colossians 3:3, “For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God.” The more I take this Bible verse to heart, the more I forget about myself and let Christ live through me. In church as a teenager and young man, I always felt like the people in the choir were all watching me and it made me nervous. So I'd sit all the way in back. My nervousness was bad in Bible college, so I deliberately came in late for church for the 8 years I attended Hyles-Anderson College, knowing that after the offering was taken, no one would be allowed into the auditorium. I sat in a side room with CCTV and watching alongside mother's holding crying babies, and people coming and going, but I sat on the edge of my seat listening to Brother Hyles preach. I have always tremendously admired the assistant pastors and men, who boldly sit on the church platform, with hundreds if not thousands of people looking at them. Wow! How do they do it? I would be in tears!

On Sunday mornings, before I drove a bus and taught Sunday School class, I sat in the mezzanine at the First Baptist Church Of Hammond. I have always been a social misfit. Thankfully God uses misfits, or else my website ministry wouldn't be here. You'd have to understand my traumatic upbringing to understand the reasons why I am this way. I am not blaming my parents, life is what it is. My father had a very violent temper. I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Jesus said His grace is sufficient for every believer. 

For a few months I made myself to sit upfront in church, to hear Pastor Hyles up close because in my heart I wanted to be near the pulpit, but I was too nervous sitting up there, so I withdrew to the back again. I am a social coward! Ironically, I could preach to a big crowd of 10,000 people and not be scared at all. But sitting still listening I get nervous. That is why during preaching I always look down at my Bible, taking notes if I am allowed. My favorite preacher Dr. Jack Hyles (1926-2001) didn't allow taking notes. If you did he called you out...lol. I love and miss Brother Hyles!

Having panic attacks is not a sin. You cannot help who you are. What has helped me over the years is simply growing older and bolder. I feel a lot more comfortable at age 53 around people, than I did at 33. Life is a great teacher. I have been through some very difficult and traumatizing situations in life, which has made me stronger in the Lord. Unshakable faith comes from having your faith shaken. Faith is like film, it develops in the dark! Amen! My neck pain affects me, and the prescription medications that I take. I had written a long article for this post, but didn't like it when I went back to revisit it. So I deleted it and started over, wanting to honor the Lord with my words the best I can. I am only a redeemed sinner. I do so much want to help others and honor the Lord. My heart yearns for a loyal wife, who will stand by my side as I stand for Jesus Christ.

If you suffer from panic attacks, lose yourself in serving God, and God will help you. Give God your heart and He'll comb the kinks out of your head. I have learned that other people feel the same as I do. They're not so scary after all. People are just people! I rarely have panic attacks anymore, because I have just learned to be myself. I wear a ukulele strap around my neck everywhere I go, because it is colorful, and I feel special to God. I found some colored plastic rings while walking, and I added them to my ukulele lanyard. They make me feel happy, so I wear them to church too. God loves me! By letting God love me, I can love everyone else!