I Feel Like I'll Never Be Right With God

Romans 4:3-7, “For what saith the scripture? Abraham believed God, and it was counted unto him for righteousness. Now to him that worketh is the reward not reckoned of grace, but of debt. But to him that worketh not, but believeth on him that justifieth the ungodly, his faith is counted for righteousness. Even as David also describeth the blessedness of the man, unto whom God imputeth righteousness without works, Saying, Blessed are they whose iniquities are forgiven, and whose sins are covered.”

Many people feel like living right as a Christian is hopeless. They struggle with condemning thoughts. They feel that no matter how hard they try, they cannot please God enough, because they fail again and again to live above sin. The truth is that every Christian feels that way sometimes. I feel like I'm a horrible Christian all the time. That is how we should feel. Since God is perfectly holy, it is normal that we (who are sinners by nature and by choice) should feel inferior in His presence. The Apostle Paul felt like a bad Christian, calling himself "wretched" (Romans 7:14-25). We are all wretched sinners. The difference is that we're all either saved or unsaved. Pastor Jack Hyles preached a helpful sermon called: "HOW TO BE RIGHT WITH GOD."

When we got saved, we were made right with God by the blood of Jesus. That is being right with God POSITIONALLY. Our position in God's family as His redeemed child was forever settled the day we got saved. That is very important to understand. So no matter how bad of a Christian we may be, or feel, we KNOW that in God's sight we are just as holy, perfect and sinless as Jesus Himself, because our sins were forgiven and cleansed away judicially at the moment of salvation. I love the Word “imputed,” which means that God credits Jesus' righteousness to us by faith the second we are saved. 

That is one of my favorite Scripture passages, which you should mark in your Bible and commit to memory, so it will always be with you everywhere you go. This is the truth that the Lordship Salvation crowd do not understand, for if they did they'd never teach that someone must “repent of their sins” to be saved. The Bible says that a person's FAITH is counted (imputed) for righteousness, so that we don't need any righteous acts, nor to turn from sins, to be saved. We are saved by God's grace and mercy through faith in Jesus' death on the cross, burial, and bodily resurrection three days later. That is the “Gospel,” or the “Good News,” by which we are saved if we simply believe it with childlike faith (1st Corinthians 15:1-6; Romans 1:16; 1st Corinthians 1:21). Another favorite passage of Scripture is:

Philippians 3:7-9, "But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ. Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ, And be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith:"

That is so beautiful of a truth. We are not saved by our own righteousness, but by God's righteousness. The Bible says to BE FOUND IN HIM, CHRIST! This proves that repenting (turning away) from sins is not part of God's plan of salvation. Repentance is simple "a change of mind," realizing that we are guilty for breaking God's commandments in the Bible, and in need of redemption (Romans 3:19-20). Galatians 3:24-26 teaches that the LAW in the Old Testament is our teacher, showing us our sinnership. And then the law brings us to CHRIST in the New Testament, to be saved by God's free grace, which Jesus made possible through His shed blood on the cross. Colossians 1:20, "And, having made peace through the blood of his cross, by him to reconcile all things unto himself; by him, I say, whether they be things in earth, or things in heaven." 

God divided His Word into two parts: LAW and CHRIST, or respectively, LAW and GRACE. That is God's plan of salvation. Dr. Law shows us that we have terminal cancer, called sin; but then sends us to Dr. Grace (Jesus) to be healed, cleansed of all our sins by faith in His blood that He shed on the cross. Some people wrangle over whether we should truth the name of Jesus, or actually trust in His death, burial and resurrection, or should we trust in His blood. They are all one and the same. We trust the name of Jesus because of what He did on the cross to pay for our sins. We trust in the Good News of Christ's death, burial and resurrection, because Jesus did these things. 

So there is no way to separate all these things, they all go together. At age 13 I put my trust in Jesus Christ. Since I have never actually physically met the Savior, I can only believe in His precious name, and I have, since age 13. I was born-again at age 13, a one time thing. The Holy Spirit came inside to live (indwell) my body forever (Ephesians 1:13-15), which is my eternal life, that is, eternal security. These are one and the same thing. Eternal security is not a separate doctrine from eternal life. Jesus is our eternal life (1st John 5:20). Whosoever has Jesus has eternal life dwelling in them.

I said all that to say this: No matter how much of a failure you may feel like as a Christian, remember that your righteousness in God's sight has absolutely NOTHING to do with how you choose to live here on earth. Our righteousness is based upon God's imputed righteousness, which is by faith alone, which we saw in Philippians 3:9. Also, Romans 10:3-4 teaches this great truth! So that is your POSITION in Christ, determined by where you are looking. LOOK TO JESUS and you are saved! Isaiah 45:22 says that, which was the verse that Charles Spurgeon heard, that led Him to Christ at age 15. Pastor Jack Hyles was saved at age 11. Pastor Curtis Hutson was saved at age 13, the same as myself. Over 80% of believers were saved under the age of 18. Pastor Ralph 'Yankee' Arnold was saved at age 18. After age 50, only 4% of people get saved. 

That is why I believe Jesus said except a man receives the Kingdom of God, as a little child, he shall in no wise enter in. Children are humble, trusting and innocent. Adults are all messed up. Matthew 18:4, "Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven." Getting saved is a matter of humility, humbling ourselves at Jesus' feet to rely only upon Him to save us. Many Jews and rich people are sinfully proud, so they refuse to humble themselves to trust Jesus. I have received some emails from people saying that Jews will never accept the name of Jesus, so we have to use Yeshua to get them saved. That is a Devil's lie. 

Acts 4:10-12 says that salvation is NOT found in any other name, than the precious name of Jesus of Nazareth. I will never call Him "Yeshua," the angel announced to Joseph in a dream that the only begotten Son of God's name is "JESUS" (Matthew 1:21-23). If Jews are too proud to trust in the name of a humble carpenter from Nazareth, then they don't get God's grace! 1st Peter 2:7 says to those who believe, the name of Jesus is precious! That's why I made my website called: JESUS IS PRECIOUS.ORG!!! I like that name.

I have battled depression for the past 14 years, since my wife divorced me in 2006. I have lived alone, not by choice, but simply because I've not been able to find a woman to date and hopefully marry. Guam is a small island, with few activities, and it's difficult to meet people here, especially for a fundamentalist Bible-believing Christian. I tried to move away in 2013, but it turned into a big disaster, and I came back broken and worn out in body and soul. It is a big burden for me to live each day alone, getting older each year, and seeing my life feeling so empty. My website ministry is the silver lining that keeps me going. We each suffer in different ways, and this is my burden. 

Plus I suffer with constant chronic neck pain, which I've had since 2004 and get disability. The disability is a blessing, God willing. One day at a time. I am now 53. If I live to see it, I'll be 70 in a skip and a heartbeat. I have so much pain in my past, and in my soul, but if God can use all that to help others in Christ, then I am glad to suffer and be of use to my great Savior. I am so unworthy. I feel like Jacob who said in Genesis 32:10, "I am not worthy of the least of all the mercies, and of all the truth, which thou hast shewed unto thy servant; for with my staff I passed over this Jordan; and now I am become two bands." God is always good.

Here's another sermon by Pastor Jack Hyles, which is helpful, called: "GETTING HALF RIGHT WITH GOD." Falling down is a part of the Christian life. Proverbs 24:16, "For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again: but the wicked shall fall into mischief." The unsaved person wilfully lives in sins and doesn't even try to please God, but the child of God struggles, desiring to please God, but we get our priorities wrong and serve the flesh instead. Proverbs 14:14 says that "the backslider in heart shall be filled with his own ways." We all try and fail, try and fail, and try and fail, as born-again Christians. There is no such thing as a Christian who has achieved sinlessness. We may attain living above reproach (so that others do not see our sins), but NO ONE has ever attained living above sin, except the sinless Lamb of God, Jesus (John 1:29; Hebrews 4:15). This is our CONDITION in Christ. Our POSITION was forever settled the moment we got saved, and nothing can change that, thankfully. 

No one can condemn a believer, even if they are rotting in prison behind bars the rest of their life for a crime (Romans 8:34). The believer's sins are gone. The Bible says God separates our sins from us as far as the east is from the west. Psalms 103:12, "As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us." That is because you can get on an airplane and fly east forever, but there will never come a time when you find west. Likewise, you can go east forever, and you'll never find west. But you can only go to the north pole, and then you'll be going south again. That is eternal security!!! 

These false teachers, like Pastor Phil Kidd, who say that if you're still living in sin you're not saved, are grace corrupters! Once saved, always saved, our POSITION in Christ is settled permanently. Now we need to focus on our CONDITION in Christ, which is up to us to submit to the Word of God and the indwelling Holy Spirit. This is discipleship. Salvation is 100% dependent on God's faithfulness to keep His promise to save them that believe (Titus 1:2; 1st Corinthians 1:21; John 6:47); but discipleship is based 100% upon our faithfulness to obey God (Romans 12:1-2). Titus 2:12 says we "SHOULD" live godly in Christ Jesus, not must or will. God wants us to live right, but we will fail, fall and sin wilfully at times. All God expects of us is what Jesus told the adulterous woman in John chapter 8... "Go and sin no more!" He didn't mean that she would never sin again, but that she should try not to. This has nothing to do with salvation, which is solely of God.

One of my favorite Bible passages is found in Hebrews 4:10-11, which teaches that we get saved by RESTING in Jesus. Just as God ceased from His creative works on the seventh day, so also must we cease from our own self-righteousness, and rest completely in what Jesus did on the cross to pay for our sins. Salvation is so free, easy and simple when we accept these precious passages of Scripture at face value, not reading into them what the Bible does not teach. People who teach Lordship Salvation are guilty of reading into the Scriptures when God did not say.