Please keep me in your prayers. I don't mention my own suffering very often, because I want to stay focused on the things of God. I was rear-ended by a full-sized 72 passenger school bus in 1992 while driving a church bus for the Lord, at the First Baptist Church of Hammond. I was also driving a full-sized bus. Someone irresponsibly left an abandoned car on the roadway, which set up the accident involving three church buses from Hammond. I slammed on the breaks to avoid hitting the car, but the guy behind me wasn't paying attention. The driver struck our bus so hard that his bus was totaled. His engine and transmission were shattered into hundreds of pieces on the ground. Vehicle fluids were everywhere.
At least two dozen ambulances came to the accident scene. The head of the bus worker sitting in the back seat of the bus went through the window. I saw blood and a big hole in the glass. The insurance company didn't even try to repair the other bus, they just bought a brand new bus for the Illinois Bus Company. Bus director Danny Club said it was the second to worst accident in the history of the First Baptist Church of Hammond. The worst was when a boy stuck his head out the window, and as the bus dipped over the curb leaving the church parking lot, his head was pinched between a telephone pole and the bus, and he died. His mother was sitting right behind him, spattered with his blood. It is so heartbreaking.
That's why there are rules not to lower the window below the halfway line, but I could mention some names (but I won't) of men that I went to school with, who are pastoring today, who broke the rules all the time. It sickens me still today, 35 years later. I actually had one bus captain ask me to drive the church bus over train tracks while the lights were flashing and the gates were down. I refused to do it. Sadly, a lot of young guys are IDIOTS!
Anyway, my driver's seat was broken off its hinges. Try to imagine the amount of blunt force energy required to pass through the chassis of a 72 passenger full-sized school bus, to break the driver's seat off its hinges. I went to the hospital and they took x-rays, but they weren't trained to look for misalignment of my spine. Nothing was broken, but my neck was crooked, and I didn't know it at the time. That misalignment of my cervical (neck) spine 12 years later led to Degenerative Cervical Disk Disease (which essentially means my neck is falling apart slowly as I grow older).
After 4 months of taking my money and doing nothing, I told the chiropractor that enough was enough. So, he sent me to Chicago MRI in 2004 and they diagnosed me with protruding disks at C4-C5-C6-C7. My chronic burning neck pain and stiff tension literally started over night. I had experienced mild tension previously, but it became much worse in February of 2004.
I wasn't a candidate for neck surgery at the time, because I didn't have any radiating pain, yet. In 2005, I tumbled 15 feet down a mailslide at the U.S. postal Service. Some packages on a conveyor belt had buckled, breaking two fluorescent bulbs. I worked in maintenance and was called to replace the bulbs, which I did. The packages had been sticking to the slide, so my boss in his infinite wisdom handed me some baby powder to give mail processing to make the packages slide better. Well, I slipped on the baby powder and as they say, "The rest is history!" I fell hard which worsened my existing neck injury. I now felt sharp radiating pain down both arms, and 80% on the right side of my body. I was then a candidate for surgery.
By 2009 I couldn't take the pain anymore radiating down my right arm. So I had my first Anterior Cervical Discectomy and Fusion (ACDF) surgery done at Cedar's Sinai in Los Angels. I lived on the island of Guam at the time. My primary care doctor on Guam said afterwards that they did the bare minimum, so in 2010 I had the surgery redone in Long Beach, California. That second surgery made me 100% worse, leaving both of my arms feeling inflated with air all the time. My right leg still today goes numb and the whole right side of my body feels half asleep all the time.
The constant agonizing osteoarthritic pain in the bony area of the back of my neck is debilitating. I also suffer from constant neck tension, which I've had for 34 years now. I had totally forgotten about the rear-end collision in 1992, and I remember that at work I used to often wonder why my neck was so tense, when nothing was wrong to make me tense. I had totally forgotten about the whiplash. After the accident, for about 2 weeks it felt like an iron rod was put inside my neck. I felt horrible tight tension until the trauma of the accident had diminished, and then I forgot about the accident, not realizing that my spine was misaligned.
It wasn't until 2004 that a chiropractor told me what had happened, and showed me from an x-ray that I have what is medically known as, "Reverse Cervical Curve." That abnormal alignment on my cervical spine caused the junction between the cervical and thorax spine to eventually deteriorate, which injury is permanent.
I also suffer from constant burning nerves throughout my upper body, which very unpleasant feeling I cannot express in words. It feels like I am on fire, not fire fire, but nerve fire. Both of my arms still feel pumped up with air, doubled in size all the time. I suffer from neck atrophy (stiffness), sometimes scraping the bald top of my head when I get into my car. I have to do regular stretching exercising to prevent further atrophy. There is no medical cure for my adverse afflictions. I've undergone 5 months of torturous physical therapy, 3 useless steroid injections, multiple worthless TENS unit, useless cold and hot packs, non helpful multiple chiropractors, two major surgeries that made me much worse, et cetera. I have prayed hundreds of times over the decades for the good LORD to heal me, but this is my thorn in the flesh. Blessed be the name of the Lord Jesus Christ!
To make matters worse, doctors are afraid of the government today. At one time on Guam (around 2011) I was prescribed 140 mg daily of OxyContin (and another 60 mg of Morphine Sulfate). The good ole days! Now, in Pensacola, Florida, the only pain doctor I could find who would accept me as a patient only prescribes 40 mg a day, which is not near enough pain drugs. Thankfully, she also prescribes 2 pills of Percocet 10/325, which helps for 5 hours a day. I have no complaints to the dear LORD. I see miserable people completely paralyzed in wheel chairs and hospital beds, totally incapacitated. So I count my lucky stars and bless the LORD. Pastor Jack Hyles said that when palsied people came to counsel with him, sometimes after they left he would jump up and down, praising and thanking God for his health.
By the time Dr. Hyles reached his 70's, he suffered from 10 different medical afflictions. He wore hearing aids in both ears. He had a hernia that he never had fixed and died with it. he suffered from cataracts in both eyes. He had a physical heart condition, which he learned about the very same day that his dear grandson was sadly killed in an accident in Florida. Brother Hyles had health issues with his feet. As we grow older, we collect injuries, scars and health problems. It's just the way of life. King David in the Bible speaks of his rotting teeth, the stench of his disease (likely venereal disease from all his philandering with women) and his poor eyesight. Getting old is no fun.
That all being said my ministry friends, please remember me in your prayers. I am hurting much. I rarely feel like going onto social media. I have had to kindly tell several dozen people on social media that I do not "chat" online. I don't have the patience for pen pals, buddies or making small talk online. I welcome and love answering Bible questions, by God's grace, but due to my health afflictions I don't have the energy to chat with people in conversation. I do it from time to time randomly, but try to avoid it as a practice.
One of my favorite sermons by Pastor Jack Hyles (1926-2001) is titled, “The Patient Waiting Of Christ,” in which he talks about having a burden that will never go away. My heath afflictions are permanent, 'til death do us part. It is only God's grace that sustains me day by day...
James 5:10-11, “Take, my brethren, the prophets, who have spoken in the name of the Lord, for an example of suffering affliction, and of patience. Behold, we count them happy which endure. Ye have heard of the patience of Job, and have seen the end of the Lord; that the Lord is very pitiful, and of tender mercy.”
Gratefully, God has given me the perfect website ministry, which I can work on night or day at my leisure. I can and often do walk away from my computer just to go lay down. I need a calm harbor in my life more than anything.
I just turned 59 years old, by God's goodness and grace, and I simply cannot process chaos like I could in my 30's. I live a simple life. I don't sign anything unless I have to. I check my mailbox once a week. I never answer my phone, I let T-Mobile's Voice Mail record all incoming messages. I have a sweet deal with T-Mobile. I only pay $15 a month for unlimited calls and text. I bought my Samsung Galaxy Note 10 Plus on Amazon refurbished for $250 and love it. I digress.
I rarely feel like doing anything, going anywhere or being around people. It is difficult for me to sit though a church service. I have to make myself doing anything. I love playing stringed instruments, but rarely feel like playing them. I have to make myself do it, but can only play for awhile before I need to stop and go rest. I push myself on some days, but due to my pain and related bodily afflictions I am easily irritated and frustrated. One of my all-time favorite sermons by Pastor Jack Hyles is titled, "At First You Just Exist."
I think about that sermon probably more than any other sermon by Brother Hyles, because it is very applicable to my life. Oftentimes I just have to exist, even though I don't want to. I am not suicidal, I just want to go home to be with Jesus. Philippians 1:21, “For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” You won't hear me often complaining about my health afflictions. First, it doesn't make anything better. Second, people don't want to hear it all the time. Third, I have spent the past 24 years of website ministry focusing on helping others, which has given me strength to keep going for Christ. David said in 1st Samuel 17:29b, “Is there not a cause?” Yes, there is a cause and by God's grace I am fulfilling it for my dear Savior. Colossians 4:17, “Take heed to the ministry which thou hast received in the Lord, that thou fulfil it.” One day at a time!
Thank you for visiting my Facebook page and for reading my rants and posts. Also, for those of you who regularly visit my ministry Facebook page, blogs and websites, you know that I can get emotionally upset sometimes, which shows in my writings. I am a musician and musicians are emotional people. That is what drew me to the pedal steel guitar, because it is such an expressive instrument.
Add to that my health afflictions which cause constant pain, burning and suffering and it's not difficult to see why I get so upset at times. But I am doing the best I can by God's grace. I have always believed that when I get upset, that God is glad to see that someone else cares enough about right doctrine, the purity of the Holy Bible and the accuracy of the Gospel to get worked up and angry over it. Throughout the Bible God often got angry. He wanted to kill the Hebrews at Mount Sinai. The Lord wanted to kill Moses for not circumcising his son. God has a righteous temper (Psalms 6:1). Dr. Hyles had a righteous temper. God pity the Bible preacher who never gets angry over sin, heresy and corruption.
My constant debilitating burning neck pain, inexplicable horrible burning nerves, the right side of my body feeling half asleep all the time, stiff neck tension, adverse drug side effects and related bodily afflictions keep me humble in the LORD. God is faithful (1st Corinthians 1:9). Trying to explain to others what I am suffering through is like trying to describe what it feels like to get hit by a car versus getting hit by a car yourself. There is no comparison!
Thank you for your patience with this broken fundamentalist Bible preacher. Fundamentalists are much hated by ungodly neo-evangelicals today. That is why I have been kicked out of most of the churches I have attended over the past 15 years, including Campus Church at Pensacola Christian College and Family Baptist Church in Pensacola. Devils in the pulpit! Neo-evangelicals don't care! They're in the ministry for the income, not the outcome (Romans 16:17-18).
Pastor Jack Hyles (1926-2001) was so right...
“You can't love anybody until you love everybody!” —Pastor Jack Hyles, “The Test Of Spiritual Maturity”
My favorite preacher, Brother Hyles, used to often sing this precious song to encourage the church and Hyles-Anderson College students, which I often sing myself...
My Lord Knows The Way
Through The Wilderness;
All I Have To Do Is Follow.
My Lord Knows The Way
Through The Wilderness;
All I Have To Do Is Follow.
Strength For Today Is Mine Always,
And All That I Need For Tomorrow;
My Lord Knows The Way
Through The Wilderness;
All I Have To Do Is Follow.
My Lord Knows The Way
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.