You Should ALWAYS Look A Person Directly In The Eyes If You Shake Their Hand

Kindly said, I visited a local Baptist church today in Pensacola. I've visited this church off and on since the last week of January in 2024. I've been to the church a couple dozen times over the past 7 months. As I was leaving the church today, the senior pastor was standing by the front door greeting people, and I took the initiative to shake his hand. I could have just walked out the door, but I felt it would not be proper to at least greet the pastor, so I did. I was deeply hurt when he looked to the hard left as I looked him in the face, as we shook hands. That is DISRESPECT! That was VERY rude what he did. He never made eye contact with me. That is VERY bad.

Perhaps he was nervous or felt uncomfortable shaking my hand, which is immaturity in him. Or worse, perhaps he doesn't respect me, which makes him a coward for hiding his true feelings. It could also be that he was distracted, which means that he lacks focus. Regardless, it is totally unacceptable for a pastor to shake somebody's hand, while looking off to the side and never making eye contact with that person. It tells the person who cared enough to kindly come over to shake your hand, that it wasn't important enough for you to acknowledge them as an individual. You either are immature as an adult or don't respect them, which either way is very unchristian.

I love that particular pastor. I enjoy hearing him preach. He's okay as a preacher, because he takes a stand against sin, but he needs to show respect for other people. I can only speak for myself. I guarantee that he would have looked me in the eyes if I were the mayor of Pensacola, which makes him a respecter of persons. Dear reader, if you don't respect someone enough to look at them, then you shouldn't shake their hand at all; and you should be honest about how you feel. I will never take the initiative to shake his hand again. I came to church happy and left sad, because the pastor dissed me.

I have refused to shake some pastors' hands in the past (e.g., at the Harvest Baptist Church on Guam cult), because they preach the lie of Lordship Salvation and use Satan's corrupt Bible revisions, and I wasn't going to bid Godspeed to false teachers (2nd John 1:11). I respect the pastor of the church I have been visiting since January of 2024, but he disrespected me today horribly, and that is really bad when you shake someone's hand. I am not being oversensitive, unless you think that people's feelings don't really matter.

I am not mentioning the pastor or church's name at this time. I have given the church a negative review on Google, and I did mention my name. If the pastor gets upset with me, then we'll become enemies and I will mention his name, and the name of their church. I won't be mistreated by any pastor. Pastors are supposed to walk head and shoulders above everyone else. That's why they're the pastor, and everyone else are the laymen. It matters how we treat people.

All my life I've had a pet peeve about grown men looking off at the wall, or down at the floor, while you're shaking their hand. It is rude, immature and childish. Please don't be like that. If someone comes over to shake your hand, you give them your undivided attention. If you cannot do that, then don't shake their hand in the first place! I hate when people play their stupid games, and I have little patience with games. Say what you mean, and mean what you say!

And if you do go to shake someone's hand, and for whatever reason you become distracted and look away, make sure that you sincerely apologize! It's sad that I have to write a blog about common sense courtesy and ethics, but Americans today are so rude, uncouth, ill mannered and uncaring.

I read an interesting true story about a 100-year-old New York mobster who was released from prison after serving 40 years behind bars. His name is Sonny Franzese. Mr. Franzese was asked what it takes to survive in prison. I was amazed by his simple answer. He said all you need is to remember are these three phrases: “Excuse me,” “I'm sorry” and “Please.” That is profound if you think about it! His wisdom reminds me of the popular book titled, “All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten.” The way that we treat other people matters, it really does. People just want to be loved.

Tragically 99% of pastors today have either forgotten or never learned that vital truth. If you visit the average church today, you'll leave feeling like they couldn't care less if you ever come back. I have been attending two local Baptist churches in Pensacola (one for almost 3 years now, and the other for 7 months here and there). Neither church has ever asked how to contact me. If I just decided to never go back, they wouldn't care less. That is horrible and carnal of them! I feel like I am unwanted in both of those Baptist churches, and they cannot blame me when they haven't even tried to befriended me.

The only way that I keep going in my faith day by day is that I LOOK TO JESUS, who is the Author and Finisher of my faith (Hebrews 12:2). The churches discourage me. Sadly, people are having to leave the churches to walk with God, because all you get at church nowadays is a superficial and shallow form of Christianity. Most churches today are just playing a game of religion, but there is no genuine love or compassion for people; there is little or no truth.

Whether you care or not, people will pick up on it very quickly. A pastor who refuses to look someone in the eyes while shaking their hand, sends a hurtful message of rejection to that individual. And the more that you look up to the person in admiration with whom you are shaking hands, the more hurt you will be if they diss you. I hope someone is listening, because this is a really important issue. ALWAYS look someone in the eyes if you shake their hand, to show that you respect them as a human being. If you cannot do that, then don't be a coward, just refuse to shake their hand and tell them exactly why. That is what mature adults do.