It Is Amazing What Just A Speck Of Dirt Can Do

Ecclesiastes 11:9-10, “Rejoice, O young man, in thy youth; and let thy heart cheer thee in the days of thy youth, and walk in the ways of thine heart, and in the sight of thine eyes: but know thou, that for all these things God will bring thee into judgment. Therefore remove sorrow from thy heart, and put away evil from thy flesh: for childhood and youth are vanity.”

I always remember where this passage of Scripture is located by associating it with “9/11.” Ecclesiastes 9:11 says that time and change happeneth to all; but Ecclesiastes 11:9 warns about the vanity of youth without obeying God. This is an easy way to remember these important Bible passages.

Onward, I remember last year that for a couple days I had something in my left eye. It must have been a small particle of dust that blew into my eye while driving or something. I don't remember how it got there, I just know that it was irritating me. I tried all the traditional remedies. You know, pulling your upper eyelid over your lower eyelid. I started with that remedy. That didn't work after several attempts. Then I tried using eye droplets, or as they call them, “liquid tears” from the local pharmacy. That didn't work either. So I tried gently splashing some tap water into my open eye, to see if that might free the lodged speck of dirt. Nothing helped!

Whatever it was under my lower eye lid, it was driving me nuts! Literally, I almost drove down to the emergency room. I felt a sudden urge of panic, what if my eye stayed this way? So I decided to take a full cup of Nyquil to help me sleep. I laid down, with the irritant in my eye. I closed my eye and eventually fell off to sleep. When I woke up the next day the irritant was still in my left eye. My eye was all red and bloodshot. I had consulted umpteen medical websites, which all said NOT to rub the eye, lest I make matters worse. Too late! But I decided not to make matters worse than I already had, so I stopped rubbing.

I was determined to go down to the local Emergency Room if the irritant didn't exit my eye, but due to the high cost of going to the emergency room, I wanted to wait another day. So I did. Thankfully, by the end of the day, the irritant was till there, but didn't bother near as much as the previous day. It appeared that whatever it was, my body was dissolving it slowly. By the next day my eye was clear and I went from desperately praying to praising God with all my heart, thanking Him.

Dear friend, that incident opened my eyes, no pun intended! I was convicted in my soul how just the tiniest speck of dirt could derail my entire life for 2 days. I went full circle from a feeling of overwhelming desperation and worry, to a full sense of calm and gratitude in just 2 days! And all it took was just a little speck of something in my eye! I felt humbled and vulnerable. To think that just a tiny speck of dirt, so small that I couldn't even see it in the mirror, could derail my normal day and cause such a feeling of panic and alarm discomforted me. I realized just how truly susceptible, frail and vulnerable I am as a human being in this vast world so full of potential injuries, discomforts, problems, heartaches, disabilities and maladies.

This personal event in my life early last year really made a lasting impression upon my soul. My eyes were spiritually opened to the fact that my very life was in God's hands every waking and sleeping second of my existence. I mean, I had already known that fact, but now it became all that much more real. If just a single speck of dirt could cause such misery, gloom and panic in my daily routine, what might happen next? It caused me to draw closer to my precious Savior in need of His strength and protection. It compelled me to appreciate God so much more, realizing just how bountifully good and loving He had been to me all alone.

I have suffered MUCH throughout my adult life. I cannot express in words how painful my divorce was in 2006. My former wife decided to abandon me without warning on March 20, 2006. She had become an entirely different person overnight after she left, lashing out against me with hatred which I had never thought possible in her. I waited for her to come home in the weeks to follow, but she didn't. So to overcome evil with good as Romans 12:19-21 teaches, I started another ministry website in May of 2006 called: Soulwinning.info. I lost my sorrows and pain in this new endeavor for Jesus Christ.

To my horror and further grief, on June 5th, 2006 two U.S. marshals came to my workplace to hand me a court summons to divorce court. She had gone and done it, filing for divorce. I bitterly wept for 3 hours in the darkness of the parts room at work that evening, since I was alone on my maintenance shift and nothing broke down during that time. From that time until today in 2022, I have not had a woman in my life. The past 16 years of my life have been filled with inexplicable loneliness, pain and heartache; but as Brother Lester Roloff rightly said: “You'll never know that Jesus is all you need, until Jesus is all you have left!” God has blessed my website ministry in a special way, as He did the Apostle Paul, because I have suffered much. My constant chronic neck pain is a daily affliction. I lost my home, my retirement, my wife, my happiness, my possessions and half of my mind. But I can still say that GOD IS SO GOOD!!!

In 2009 and again in 2020, I underwent two major neck surgeries, alone by myself. I had never felt more abandoned, lonely and wanted to just die, than at these inexplicably painful times of my life. Where was the woman who had promised never to leave me during time of health or sickness, in times of good or bad? Proverbs 31:12, “She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.” To say that I unfortunately married the wrong woman is an understatement. Proverbs 12:4, “A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.” My former wife, although I forgive her, has been the utter rottenness of my bones throughout my difficult and pain-filled life. Pastor Jack Hyles is so right: “Divorce is a sin that perpetuates for a lifetime.”

The silver lining in these dark storm clouds is that God has used my online website ministry during this entire time, my diligent humble labors day and night, to lead many souls to Christ. I have received hundreds of beautiful testimonies in recent years, from people who testify that God saved them through my ministry. But I truly hope there are many more people who have not written to me, whom I will learn about in eternity that were saved though my labors for Jesus. I am fully confident that there are MANY. I have never made or asked for a single penny and never will. This is a labor of love for truth, people and my dear God and Savior, Jesus Christ. Jesus is precious!!!