My Heart Passionately Yearns To Play The Pedal Steel Guitar

Proverbs 18:1, “Through desire a man, having separated himself, seeketh and intermeddleth with all wisdom.”

I am originally from Chicago. I was born in The Windy City on March 5th of 1967. I have many fond childhood memories of giant piles of snow, blizzard conditions and all the tons of fun we had in Chicago's brutal Canadian-like winters. The following photo is of me and my little buddy, my dear son, Robert. Robert was born in 1989, so I'm guesstimating that this photo was taken around 1995...

Me and My Son, Robert, Building a Cool Snowman in Chicago

I decided to move my family to the island of Guam in 2004. It was a remarkable experience, playing my Hawaiian steel guitar on an actual island. Playing steel guitar is the passion of my life, next to laboring on my website ministry. God struck a musical arrow through my heart in 1992 to play the beautiful steel guitar. I recorded this Hawaiian Gospel song in 2019, “Near To The Heart Of God.” Here are a couple dozen of my more recent steel guitar recordings. It is my heart's desire to do some more recording in the years ahead, if I can meet some friends who share my musical interests. Last year I added a pedal steel guitar to this song from the students of Hyles-Anderson College, where I attended and graduated (1985-1993). it seems like just yesterday that I was sitting in chapel, having my life changed. THANK YOU GOD!!!

Yours Truly Playing my S-8 Aluminum Frypan
 Steel Guitar by my Front Door in 2017

I don't need drugs to get high, nothing gets me more high than MUSIC! Steel guitar is my drug of choice. Amen! And for that matter, so is the inspired King James Bible!!! THANK YOU GOD!!! My heart yearns to play my pedal steel guitar again, and to record, but right now all my stuff is packed into a storage crate since I left Guam last year in July. My life is upside down, like the Poseidon ship in the classic 1972 science-fiction movie: “The Poseidon Adventure.” What a cool movie. I also like the 2006 remake with actor Kurt Russell. Anyway, my life feels like the movie in real life.

Since my first and only wife divorced me in 2006, my life has gone sideways in pain of soul and inexplicable loneliness. I have never had a loyal wife who believed in me and my musical talents. When I was married, my former wife never complimented my music. I would be on an emotional high playing my guitar, trying to impress her, but she had no interest in music at all. I felt lonely even then, when I was married. I wasn't a perfect husband, but all I'm saying is I think compatibility is much more important than people care to realize. I do believe that two totally different type of people can build a happy marriage, if they will simply TRY. Dear reader, your partner very much needs for you to take an interest in their interests!!!

Finding that special someone is highly unlikely. I dare say that less than 5% of married people are ever truly happy with their choice of a mate. I think most people who do find happiness in marriage are just plain lucky. Don't get me wrong, I understand that marriage requires deliberate effort and hard work to make it work, but if you don't have any feelings toward the person you married, it will be a painful uphill battle all the time, trying and working and praying for God to help you love someone who's personality doesn't ring your bell. For years I felt guilty, like I was proud for not being able to lower myself to the point where I was content with the person I married, but I just couldn't find peace in the relationship. Ironically, she divorced me in 2006, choosing to selfishly go her own way.

Having said all that, I heard a Chinese lady once say that there is no such thing as “soulmates” (i.e., that one perfect person just for YOU). I think she is right! If the grass looks greener elsewhere, then plant your own greener grass! I think it is sad when a man leaves his wife for a younger woman, which reveals how shallow their marriage relationship was. There should be something special between two people, a depth of love and commitment which only time can build. We've lost so much in America! People have become so shallow!!!

It makes ALL THE DIFFERENCE in the world whether you have a companion who stands by your side to comfort and encourage you, as your cheerleader, or having nobody there at all. I've had no one all these many painful years. For 16 years I have gone to bed alone, woke up alone, endured life's struggles, loss and life itself, alone. Of course, my precious Savior has been with me every step of the way, or else I wouldn't have made it this far (Hebrews 13:5). But everybody needs flesh. What saith the Scripture? Genesis 2:18, “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.”

I get so lonely sometimes that I feel like I'm going to die from pain of soul. I have signed up for eHarmony.com, Match.com, Plenty-O-Fish.com, hoping to find that special someone Heck, I'll settle for just SOMEONE...lol. But there is no one. Of the four dozen or so women whom I have contacted on these sites over the past 5 years, only a handful replied to tell me they had already found someone else, or weren't interested in me. Some liked my profile, but said they were looking for something else. I messaged a nurse in Nebraska, telling her how much I really liked her, but she dissed me, never writing back at all. That's people for ya!

Yours Truly Wearing an Alex Jones T-shirt,
Playing My S-10 Sho-Bud Steel Guitar

Yours Truly Performing Gene Watson's Classic Song, “Farewell Party”

“What A Day That Will Be”

“The Chair” (a pretty George Strait song)

Yours Truly From the Mid 1990's with My D-10
Pro II Sho-Bud Pedal Steel from Nashville, Tennessee

A few of the reasons I wrote this blog:

1. I wanted to share my music with others who weren't already aware. The steel guitar is the most beautiful instrument and music this side of Heaven.
2. I wanted to share my passion and dedication to the steel guitar with others, and Encourage You to Try it As a Hobby if You Have An Interest. I wish I could teach young people to play the steel guitar. I made this totally free website for that purpose, to help encourage others to play steel guitar, and point them in the right direction. There are tons of awesome resources available online, and lots of friendly steel players to help guide you. Children are like sponges, highly impressionable. Since youth are hearing ghetto rap music everywhere today, which has even crept into Country music sad to say, that is what they want to imitate. It is so sad. In 1935 steel guitar was king! One of my favorite steel guitar artists, Jerry Byrd (1920-2005) said that and Jerry was so right.
3. I am also a banjo enthusiast. I play 5-string banjo Dave Hum style (I love this man). Dave Hum died of cancer at only age 46 in 2012. I so much wish to God that I could have communicated with this dear talented man while he was still alive. Thankfully Dave left the world over 200 of his beautiful banjo recordings. Dave's music is better than any drug you'll ever find to make you feel topside and cheerful. Check this guy out! I wish schools all across the country would start bringing back the beautiful steel guitar music of the 1920's, 1930's and 1940's before the accursed television invaded our homes and corrupted our sense of what is good music. Those precious years spanning between 1930 and 1955 were properly called: “THE GOLDEN YEARS!”
4. I'm Hoping to Get Back into My Music Sooner Than Later, God Willing. I would love to help younger aspiring musicians, by inspiring them to pursue playing the steel guitar. I'd love to volunteer my talents on albums and to play at functions. I wish I could find a group of people who desire to make music as much as I do, to get involved musically. I have been wanting to move to either Honolulu or Nashville, but can't afford it. For now I'm chilling in Pensacola, but as far as I can see there's nothing here musically to get involved. I am creative and good at improvising, but I need the right atmosphere to be creative (like a studio). I often pray for God to open some doors, or give me the wisdom to open my own doors. I don't know what else to do. Being alone without a wife is so hard for me, making me feel stranded in life. The past 16 years have been so difficult. Worse, I keep attending dead churches with ungodly rotten pastors, like Marty Herron and Jeff Redlin, who couldn't care less about hurting divorced people like me. I am like actor Tom Hanks in his classic movie Cast Away, lost at sea on a raft, weary and all but hopelessly adrift in life's stormy waters.

As my faithful ministry followers already know, I decided to relocate from the island of Guam to Pensacola, Florida in July of 2021. I moved for several few reasons. I wasn't able to find a woman to marry on Guam. I really tried and prayed. I found myself asking attractive ladies in stores if they were single, hoping to find a new love. I didn't. They were already engaged or married. I kept my eyes open in local Baptist churches, but couldn't find anyone. I came close to finding a wife at the Harvest Baptist Church on Guam, but their ungodly senior pastor, Marty Herron, put a knife in my back and heart, banning me from attending Harvest Baptist Church. My only crime was that I TOLD THE TRUTH (Galatians 4:16). The fastest way to make new enemies is to just TELL THE TRUTH! Sadly, neo-evangelical preachers are the biggest liars these days! There is nothing worse than a doctrinally incompetent pastor!!!

I loved their nurse, Kristen, at Harvest and she liked me too, but the pressure exerted on her by her stiffnecked spiritually corrupt bosses kept us apart, which ultimately was too much for her to deal with. And then I feel in love with a young gal named, Abby, but Pastor Herron's successor, Gary Walton, hated me as well for TELLING THE TRUTH, and Abby (like 99% of churchgoers) was 100% loyal to the rotten church leadership at Harvest, as corrupt as they are doctrinally. My innocent blood is upon the merciless hands of Gary Walton, Marty Herron, Joe Hansen and Jared Baldwin. Kindly said, SHAME on them!!! God will have the final say (Romans 3:4; Matthew 12:36; Galatians 1:6-9 and 6:7).

Those ungodly incompetent Bob Jones University (BJU) pastors at Harvest Baptist Church on Guam have the blood of tens of thousands of victims upon their hands. They have no comprehension of the devastating eternal damage and consequences of their ongoing reckless actions. They are guilty for preaching another gospel of Lordship Salvation, aka, Calvinism. They are also guilty for promoting the Devil's corruptible seed (i.e., the perverse modern English Bible revisions, of which there are literally hundreds). They are also guilty for promoting heretic Martin Luther (1483-1546), who openly preached the lie of Baptismal Regeneration his entire life (i.e., the false doctrine that you must be water baptized to get into Heaven). I speak all this truth in love (Ephesians 4:15).

These wicked religious Pharisees rejected THE TRUTH when I handed it to them on a silver platter (Hosea 4:6). They condemned me instead, falsely accusing me of causing confusion and divisiveness at Harvest Baptist Church (Galatians 4:16). The truth is that they were already a house divided, using literally dozens of different conflicting Bible versions among their confused church congregation. Lest you think I'm grasping for straws, take a look at this comparison of a few different popular Bible revisions today...

Unnecessary Changes Made to the Holy Bible 

Merely to Obtain a Legal Copyright!!!

For being a true friend, by exposing the preceding rotten Bible perversions being used at Harvest Baptist Church on Guam, I was kicked out of their church and ostracized for seven long and inexplicably painful years. I lost a potential wife. I lost all my friends and church family. Marty Herron selfishly lived a life of luxury at my expense. My blood is on their hands!

As I mentioned, Harvest's school nurse liked me a lot and she knew how affectionate I felt about her. She would have married me (I know that as sure as I am born-again, no doubt whatsoever), but because her ungodly neo-evangelical devil for a boss, Marty Herron, they pressured her to get rid of me. She was stuck in the middle of a battle between a faithful man of God (me, who told THE TRUTH), and her shameful infidel hellbound devil boss who axed me like a proverbial turkey on Thanksgiving day. God will avenge me in eternity of the wife that I lost because of those selfish, evil, corrupt religious men. Sad to say, it is bad pastors who are ruining the churches today, just like back in Bible times. Jeremiah 10:21, “For the pastors are become brutish [lacking good sense], and have not sought the LORD: therefore they shall not prosper, and all their flocks shall be scattered.” Jeremiah 23:1, “Woe be unto the pastors that destroy and scatter the sheep of my pasture!  saith the LORD.” And so it still is today among bad American pastors!

Right now I am trying to figure our my life. I think that is what the Apostle Paul meant in Philippians 2:12, “Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.” One day at a time, and then we die! Life is so frustrating to me, spending all our days perfecting our talents and wisdom, just to die and take it all to the grave. Pardon my bloviating in this blog, I just needed to share my heart with my blog readers. pray for me, I am a bit down and frustrated lately. The hardest part about meeting someone is getting started. We always marry someone that we know, so unless we have a venue (like church activities; such as, Watchcare Meetings, aka, Cell Groups, et cetera) to communicate with people, we won't meet anyone. It was Marty Herron's hatred that ruined my life, because I TOLD THE TRUTH. I will never shut up!!!

So that is that. Please keep me in your prayers. I have strong faith in God (Mark 11:22). I'm eating health foods, losing a few pounds each month, walking with God as I labor in my website ministry, and laying low in Pensacola as I try to figure out where to go from here. I sure need and pray for God's guidance. I haven't found any great churches in Pensacola. Sadly, Pastor Jeff Redlin of Campus Church at Pensacola Christian College (PCC) mistreated me like a dog for being divorced. What a self-righteous hypocrite! SHAME on Jeff Redlin! God knows that I have MUCH more respect for a homosexual than I do for a hateful, arrogant, self-righteous hypocrite like Dr. Jeff Redlin and his sorry pathetic kind.

Sadly, there is no greatness in Jeff Redlin, none! I am a loving person and get my feelings hurt easy. I make no apologies for that. Redlin is a cold-hearted religious employee, who woefully lacks God's love for hurting people like me. I am a disease in their sight, to be shunned and cast away for being divorced and hoping to remarry. Proof of what I say is that Jeff Redlin has never contacted me again, even though he knew that I felt he was mistreating me. He did abuse me, just like Samantha Field, and doesn't care, as long as his paycheck clears for $125,000 a year! Just like Samantha Field is a victim of PCC abusive leadership, so am I. God is not a part of a shallow institution that takes abuse of people as a trifle matter. Pastor Redlin's avoidance of me, critique of my website ministry and unkind harsh words are proof that he is an ungodly fool. PCC needs to be exposed until they fire abusive leaders like Jeff Redlin and get right with God!!!

I was surfing the internet this week, making my rounds on Twitter, and found these great quotes from D.L. Moody:

“The world may call us fanatics and fools, but they cannot give us any worse name than they gave the Master. They called Him Beelzebub, the prince of devils, and we can afford to be called fools for Christ's sake for a little while, and by and by we will be called home.” —Pastor Dwight L. Moody

"When the honest, sincere Christian is faced with the decision regarding whether a thing is right or wrong, he should ask, does it agree with all that the Scripture has to say on the subject?" —Pastor Curtis Hutson

“When men are trying to patch up this old Adam-nature, trying to make themselves better, they are growing worse all the time. When men are trying to save themselves and work out their own salvation without God, they are all the time making themselves worse.” —Pastor Dwight L. Moody