Philippians 2:12, “Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.”
I'm always writing in my blogs about all my favorite Bible passages that I love, but today I am writing about the Bible passage I hate the most! I hate our text verse from Philippians 2:12. I don't hate the Bible, I just hate what this Bible verse teaches, because it leaves me at a loss. This verse teaches that we have to figure out how to make it day by day through this earthly life on our own. That is exactly what the Bible says: WORK OUT YOUR OWN SALVATION!
Thankfully, God's salvation is already taken care of for us, by faith alone. All we need to do to get to Heaven is acknowledge that we are guilty sinners, and believe the Gospel (the 'GOOD NEWS') that Jesus is the Christ, who died in our place on the cross to pay our debt of sin. Jesus was buried and three days later He miraculously resurrected physically by the power of God (1st Corinthians 15:1-4). Anyone who hears this Good News and places their trust in Jesus Christ alone is saved. Nothing more is required nor allowed by God the Father.
But after God saves us, Philippians 2:13 teaches that we all have to figure out our way in this earthly life ON OUR OWN. I hate that! I don't like having to make my own choices about whom to marry and whom not to marry, where to go to church and where not to go to church, whom to trust and whom not to trust, where to move and where not to move, et cetera. Although I cherish my liberty and freedoms, I wish someone had wisely chosen my wife for me, because I picked a very bad person to marry. I've made umpteen bad decisions throughout my life, which adversely led to more bad decisions, and I've paid dearly for those poor choices. I wish God had made all my decisions for me. I wish it were as easy as seeking godly counsel, but people sometimes give very bad advice to others.
There is a silver lining though to Philippians 2:12, found in the next verse in Philippians 2:13, “For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure.” The indwelling Holy Spirit helps guide us through life. I honestly do not know when, where, how or to what extent God has worked in me throughout my saved life. I simply don't know! Did God put it in my heart to move from Chicago to Guam in 2004? I have no idea. I sure feel like I made a poor choice. In hindsight, I wish I had moved my family to North Carolina, Tennessee or Florida's west coast. I think my entire family would have been much better off. But I don't know that. I love something that Pastor Max Younce said in one of his books: “God only knows the things that would have happened, if the things that happened hadn't happened.”
I don't beat myself up over bad decisions in the past, because I am just a flawed human being. I had no one to guide me, and I did what I thought was reasonable at the time. I have no regrets starting my website ministry, it was a wise decision in 2002. I have never received a single penny, and never will, for my many years of earnest ministry effort. I wish I had married a different woman. She abandoned me in 2006, and I am glad she did. Good riddance to bad rubbish! I was 20 years old and stupid when I got married. I couldn't have made a much worse choice. Some people choose to live in a delusion, but I choose to be honest and speak truth.
I do not know if I will ever remarry, but I am trying. I wrote a 46 year old white woman named Sherry today in Maryland. I doubt if she'll write back. No one ever does. I wrote two women last week. One, Tammy, turned out to be a fraud and was terminated by eHarmony. The other, Gracie, age 23, hasn't logged in since I contacted her on May 16th. I'm not having much luck. I am considering a young gal from the Philippines, but I dread the legalities of waiting for years for the process to complete to get her a marriage visa.
I have been planning to move, but this is the worst time to relocate. Literally, several thousand residents are fleeing California's oppressively government for greener pastures, moving to smaller cities across the United States. More people moved to Tennessee in 2020 than any other state! Unfortunately, that was my destination too, which has turned into a nightmare so far. Everyone is grabbing the cheaper apartments and homes as fast as they hit the market, making it next to impossible for me to find housing.
I wanted to go to Knoxville, and attend Temple Baptist Church in Powell, but of the several realtors I have contacted, only two replied. One ignored all my questions about finding a rental, and said I should consider buying a home instead. The other realtor didn't answer my rental questions either, and enrolled me into an MLS account of the available homes in the area. Anything in my price range of $100,000 or less or either delipidated and ready to fall over, or “contingent” or “pending” (meaning it has already been sold). In Nashville, Tennessee, there is a 3-month waiting list just to find an apartment to rent there! So I keep thinking about Philippians 2:12, about working out my own salvation, and it frustrates me, because I have no idea what I'm doing down here on earth. I pray to God for wisdom regularly, and by faith I choose to believe that He will honor my faith in Him. God is always good!!!
So I am taking things one day at a time. I have been considering moving to Tucson, Arizona since last year, and I might do it! I find a friendly realtor, Rachel, who has been sending me affordable rentals all this year. I just looked at a place she sent me in Tucson for $675 a month, ALL utilities included. That's nice! That A LOT less than I am paying right now ($1,000 a month, plus about $700 in utilities on Guam). With skyrocketing petroleum costs, Guam's Diesel powered electricity has also skyrocketed in costs). I only run my 24,000 BTU air-conditioner, a fan, refrigerator, and two computers, and my electric bill is $500 per month! I'll save $1,000 per month moving to Tucson! But I'll have to start paying state income tax in Arizona, so that will set me back a couple thousand. And I'll have to pay an extra $1,000 a year for auto insurance. I only pay $300 a year on Guam for full coverage insurance. Still, I'll come out way ahead in Tucson, Lord willing. I have to consider costs. God only knows how my neck pain adversely affects me each day and night. I need to take it easy.
So anyway, pray for me that God will show me where to move. I found the Tucson Baptist Church, which looks really good. I won't know until I visit a few times. I am torn in my soul between places to move. And I am scared to start all over, with no one by my side to share life with me. I need a wife. I get tired of some men always bad mouthing marriage and women. I avoid those types of negative people. Marriage is a beautiful thing, and there's still a lot of wonderful godly women, but I don't think I'll find her on eHarmony. I don't know. I long for the blessed day when Jesus completely takes control of my life, when I leave this crazy earthly world. The daily news is filled with horror and insanity. I don't want to be a part of this wicked world anymore. I am ready to go home to Heaven. My wonderful Savior ALWAYS makes the best choices and right decisions, and I trust Him wholly.
So what can we do dear reader? Well, that is why God gave us the Holy Bible, to be used as a LAMP unto our feet. Psalms 119:105, “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.” John 5:39, “Search the scriptures; for in them ye think ye have eternal life: and they are they which testify of me.” My favorite Bible verse is Proverbs 4:23, “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” We all have to make our own decisions in life, and for every decision it affects future decisions. Bad decisions often limit opportunities. Likewise, sometimes bad decisions can become the very basis for our future success! God only knows. I am thankful that our omnipotent God can take the LEMONS in our life and still make LEMONADE with them. God is a God of second chances (Jonah 3:1).
The important thing is to stay focused on the Lord. Hebrews 12:2a, “LOOKING TO JESUS, the Author and Finisher of our faith.” I regret many decisions I've made in life. I cannot undo them. I hate myself for some of them. I wish I had married a different person, who cared, and who wouldn't have quit and divorced me. But I have learned to LET GO, LET GOD, and just entrust the shattered pieces of my broken life to Jesus Christ, and let Him reshape them into something useless and meaningful again. Colossians 3:1-3, “If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth. For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God.”
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