I Want To Leave This Horrible World

John 16:22, “And ye now therefore have sorrow: but I will see you again, and your heart shall rejoice, and your joy no man taketh from you.”

I love this Bible verse dearly. During the dark times in my life when I was being persecuted at my various jobs by some wicked men, I clung to the inspired Scriptures. Jesus' precious promise in John 16:22 gave me the courage and hope to keep going and hang in there. I fully know what it's like to work in a hostile work environment as a Christian man. I don't hate those sinful men for what they did to persecute me, but I do want them to answer to God (and they will, just as we all will according to Romans 14:10-12).

I've never seen such rottenness in people as I have in recent years. A few months ago I simply kindly waved at a black woman walking down the street in my neighborhood. She cussed me out at the top of her lungs. I don't even know who she is. Yesterday I gave into temptation and went to McDonald's, the first time in six months. Someone laid on their horn just to be mean, bulling me to move. However, I hadn't blocked anyone. I drove forward as soon as the car in front of me moved forward, but the person laid on the horn anyway. People can be so rotten and mean. I am often reminded of something true that Pastor Ralph Yankee Arnold said, “Sometimes all you have to do to be hated by someone is to show up.” He is so right.

I thank God for my website ministry. Since 2002 it has been the silver lining of my trainwreck of a life filled with problems, heartaches and losses. God is always good and I don't blame Him for anything. Humans are sinners and they do sinful things. It's not God's fault for the people who hurt each other. So, I don't blame the Lord. Many people get angry and blame God for their woes. Why is God to blame for the wickedness of mankind? God didn't create this mess one earth, we did as humans. Blessed be the name of the good Lord.

I am at the place nowadays that I don't even want to go out my front door anymore, because of how terrible people have become in the United States.

I am so disgusted with pastors, and I know most of you are too. Pastors today are mere overpaid employees. Our nation's first U.S. President refused to take a salary. President Donald Trump refused to take a salary. Yet, show me the preacher who won't take a salary. By God's grace, I have invested over 50,000 hours of intense labor into my website ministry, but have never taken a single penny from anyone. I do it for my blessed Savior, Jesus! I am so sick of professed Christians with their PayPal donation links on YouTube and websites. If they weren't making money, they'd disappear overnight! They only care about getting donations. Sadly, 95% of them are theologically toxic, incompetent and dangerous.

A few months ago a black man panhandled for money as I entered into a local grocery store. I kindly told him to wait a moment, went back to my car to grab a Gospel of John, and I put about $40 in his hand in spare change that I had saved. I expected him to be grateful and thank me, but instead he asked for more money. I was disgusted that he was an ingrate. That is the way heathens behave. There's an important truth in Romans 1:21, “Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened.” One of the hallmark characteristics of a Christ-rejecter is a spirit of ingratitude toward God and man.

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I am reminded of the ten lepers who came to Jesus in Luke 17:12, and He healed them all of their horrific disease. Only one man bothered to return to thank Jesus! Wow. That's blows my mind. What ingrates those nine men were! Yet, we see this same level of ingratitude among so many Americans today, who spit in God's face, demanding their "rights" to commit the evils of abortion, homosexuality, rob others of their wealth and homes, walk around in public butt naked, and all manner of depravity.

There is a campaign to silence Christians today who take a stand against evil. Ungodly YouTube removed this sermon excerpt from my YouTube channel. Big tech companies are censoring THE TRUTH. Sodomites, kooks, quacks and weirdos can promote all manner of wickedness and filth, but if a redeemed child of God takes a stand against the sin, perversion and abnormality of homosexuality, they are banned on social media.

You can censor the truth, but you cannot destroy it. I look forward to being there in eternity when God judges the wicked, when the Lord holds heathens accountable for censoring Christians who were simply telling THE TRUTH. I want to leave this horrible world, but for now God needs me here to preach the Gospel to the lost. Job:20:5, “That the triumphing of the wicked is short, and the joy of the hypocrite but for a moment?”

You cannot even talk to people anymore without somehow offending them. Somehow you will become the target of their gossip and slander.

I suffer in constant agonizing chronic neck pain. I've had this relentless pain for 20 years since 2004. The pain is always accompanied by aggravating stiffness in my neck. It is a constant burden, a monkey on my back, a raincloud hanging over my head everywhere I go. I underwent two major neck surgeries in 2009 and 2010, which didn't alleviate my pain at all. Suffering in constant pain makes everything more difficult for me on a daily basis. Unfortunately, people don't cut me any slack. I can tell people until I'm blue in the face that my neck pain adversely affects me, but they don't understand or care.

Therefore, I need to take precautions to avoid conflicts with people. I only attend church half of the time. Since I get irritated easily due to my pain, I need to stay home and avoid people when my pain feels overwhelming. I have actually had horrible church members berate me for missing church, putting me down. One jerk actually quoted to me Hebrews 10:25b, “Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is...” That was a very horrible thing that he said, trying to bully me to come to church in my pain.

In truth, he is a darn fool who lacks understanding and compassion for others. I cannot tell you how many times I have wanted to quit church and never go back again, because of the ungodly self-righteous attitude of 90% of professed Christians. Listen to me, you have no right to bully someone for missing church. You have no right to scold, berate or make someone feel ashamed for missing church on a regular basis. You don't know their situation. What saith the Scripture?

2nd Corinthians 10:12, “For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.”

It's bad enough that I suffer in constant physical pain, but having to deal with people is too much for me. I just need to stay home as much as I can, where I am safe. People equal pain. As a child of God I love people. I have no ill will toward anyone, although there are some pastors I would like to see put into prison for a very long time for hurting people. This world is getting worse every day. John 16:22, “And ye now therefore have sorrow: but I will see you again, and your heart shall rejoice, and your joy no man taketh from you.” In this world we can only know sorrow. Isaiah 53:3, “He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.” Every child of God (unless they are a selfish abusive pastor like Jeff Redlin or Marty Herron) is acquainted with sorrow and grief.

I have been hurt by people my entire life. I have had co-workers spit on me, throw hammers at me, lie about me, steal my uniforms, physically assault me, slam doors in my face, et cetera. Humans can be rotten! What helps me is to throw the cross into it. Pastor Jack Hyles preached a helpful sermon using that very title, “Throw The Cross Into It.” I long to go home to be with my blessed Savior, and someday soon I will.

I am now 57 years old, so I am entering into the last part of my earthly life. My Mom went to Heaven at age 65, my Dad at 75. So, I might have 20 years left, at most. This horrible world is nothing but misery, loneliness and pain for me; but knowing the indwelling Holy Spirit is my constant encouragement. God is my friend and Savior. The promises of His inspired Word in the King James Bible burns in my heart and keeps me going each day.

Being a Christian doesn't make life any easier, but it makes it better, since Jesus promised in Hebrews 13:5 to never leave nor forsake us. What a great Savior!!!

Even so, come, Lord Jesus!