2nd Corinthians 10:12, “For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.”
We all have a tendency to look at the lives of others, especially fellow Christians, and compare our life and happiness to theirs. But the Bible says this is an unwise thing to do. One of the reasons why is because we all have different circumstances. Ecclesiastes 9:11, “I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.”
In 1992 while voluntarily driving a church bus, our bus was rear-end by another church bus. The accident was so traumatic that a dozen ambulances arrived to take children to the hospital. My seat was broken off its hinges. The bus behind ours was totaled, with the engine and transmission broken into hundreds of pieces on the ground, with fluids everywhere. Why did that happen to us? Why me? My neck was permanently misaligned, which has left me with Cervical Degenerative Disk Disease. I have suffered since 1992, but especially since 2004 when the condition turned chronic and I was diagnosed with stenosis san radiculopathy.
Some irresponsible person had left an abandoned car in the roadway, which caused the accident. Why did this happen to me and my bus riders? It was just time and chance. My neck hurts all the time. It makes me irritable and easily frustrated, adversely affecting my life. I live in solitude, lonely and the local Harvest Baptist Church won't even allow me to attend church services. Talk about evil. If I compare I could easily become bitter, but this is my burden. These are my circumstances. This is my heartache and cross that I have to bear.
I attended Hyles-Anderson College (HAC) for 8 years between 1985 and 1993 to be a pastor. I unfortunately married the wrong person, whom I met before I went to Bible college. I regret that I didn't marry a gal from HAC. That was one of the biggest mistakes I ever made. I am as much a sinner as anyone else, so it's not my place to cast stones. The woman I married abandoned me in 2006 after 18 years of marriage. I am encouraged that I can relate to the famous preacher John Wesley, who said when asked about his wife divorcing him: “I did not dismiss her. I did not abandon her. I will not recall her.” Good riddance to bad rubbish!
I have learned in my Christian life not to compare my sufferings with that of friends I went to Bible college with, who are happily married today after all these years. It hurts, sure. I am happy for them. But if I compare my life to theirs, I I feel left out. I feel like I got a raw deal. I feel cheated in life. That is why the Bible teaches us NOT to compare. There are too many variables beyond our control in life. I have known Christians to commit suicide over marriage problems. One man in his 30's commit suicide when his fiancée broke up with him and married another man. The guy was in debt and killed himself to make the pain go away. Another man commit suicide when his wife left him and he couldn't locate her. I remember one night that he frantically came onto our church bus, asking if anyone had seen her. No one had. He was only 27 years old when he killed himself. Dear friend, committing suicide will only exchange one pain here on earth for another pain up in Heaven, when you realize that you could have still been on earth witnessing the Gospel to lost sinners.
I have to remind myself sometimes to stop comparing my broken life, with that of peers who appear to me as successful and happy in life. It is God Who decides what successful means for each of His children (Philippians 2:13). During the brutal Roman Empire Christians were fed to hungry lions in the arena. I'll bet they felt like failures, but in God's sight they are heroes of the faith. The Apostle Paul was beaten nearly to death multiple times and left for dead. Paul was shipwrecked and spent days lost at sea hoping to be rescued. Paul suffered much so God could bless Him and use him much! God has allowed me to suffer more than the average person's share of pain, loss and sorrow in life; but I believe it is only so that God can use me more for His glory and purpose. And yet I have no complaints, because many people suffer a lot more than I do.
I see men whom I went to Bible college with in the 1980's pastoring churches today, and I feel like a spiritual failure. I feel like a loser sometimes. My wife is gone. I am alone. I have tried to find a wife, but being on Guam makes that nearly impossible. My fundamentalist beliefs have compelled the ungodly Neo-evangelical Harvest Baptist Church on Guam to ban and ostracize me since 2014. They are pulling on the same rope as the Devil by promoting Lordship Salvation and fake Bibles, but no one cares. But aside all this, I am not supposed to compare my life with that of other believers (or counterfeit believers). Our circumstances are all different. I am only supposed to compare myself to the inspired Word of God. James 1:23, “For if any be a hearer of the word, and not a doer, he is like unto a man beholding his natural face in a glass: For he beholdeth himself, and goeth his way, and straightway forgetteth what manner of man he was.”
I receive many emails from Christians, many of whom are angry and bitter at life, because they are comparing their life and circumstances to that of others. Hebrews 12:3, “Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Do you know when I am the happiest? It is when I help other needy people, and forget about the people who have hurt me, putting them into God's hands for judgment. Harvest Baptist Church has hell coming their way. They won't get away with what they have done. You cannot promote corruptible seed and be innocent. You cannot preach another gospel of “turn from your sinful lifestyle” to receive God's free gift, and still be innocent. Harvest's day of reckoning is coming. Those ungodly pastors think they are being persecuted, but in reality they are persecuting the free grace Gospel and the King James Bible.
My website ministry makes me happy, because I am contending for the faith for Christ (Jude 1:3). My ministry website give me joy, because I am exposing false teachers and corrupt churches that hurt people (Titus 1:10-13). Those arrogant, stiffnecked and indifferent shameful pastors of Harvest Baptist Church of Guam, and their ungodly congregation who empower them, will suffer the judgment of almighty God when all is said and done (Matthew 12:36; Proverbs 24:12; Romans 12:19-21). If I didn't believe that, I'd close my Bible, cancel my websites, and never preach again! I don't hate people, I hate what God hates, arrogance! The wicked Bob Jones University crowd are arrogant, cocky, cliquish, deceived and foolish!!!
I stand alone before my God and Savior. In eternity I will have to give account to God for only myself. Those pastors at Harvest won't be able to blame BJU, nor anyone else. I have warned them time and time again at Harvest as a true friend does, for which I have been ridiculed, insulted, shunned and ostracized. God sees what they have done. God sees that I told THE TRUTH. God only Authored ONE BOOK, not two, not 87, not 900. There is only one Gospel, not two, not one of turning from sinful behavior (which is works), but the other of not turning from sinful behavior (free grace). It cannot be both! I am not confused doctrinally, the Bob Jones crowd are! I am being a faithful Bible preacher to take a firm, unapologetic and uncompromising stand, and by God's grace with continue to do so.
As I thought about some of my college peers today who are pastoring churches, and began to feel bad, the Lord impressed upon my heart that those pastors only have perhaps 100 people in their churches, but my Jesus-is-Savior.com website has received over 110,000,000 visitors since 2002. God has used my website ministry electronically to reach thousands of times more people with the Gospel than all of those pastors put together. I am humbled. To God alone be ALL the credit, praise and glory, for great things He hath done through this sinner. By God's wondrous grace alone I will continue for many years to come. My websites need much updating, which I plan to work on throughout 2021, Lord willing. But first, I am getting ready to move. Where O where is the question? Pray for me my friends, for God to give me wisdom. I love you all unconditionally with God's love. Thank you for reading my blogs. Jesus is precious!
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